


Bruised & Battered

by Tragically



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alcoholic John Winchester, Angel Castiel, Angel Wings, Angry Dean, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Caring Castiel, Castiel Saves The Day, Child Abuse, Crying Dean, Cupid - Freeform, Dean Winchester is John's Good Little Soldier, Dean finally snaps, Dean-Centric, Destiel - Freeform, Disappointed Sam, Drinking to Cope, Guardian Angels, Hugs, Hunter Dean, Hurt Dean, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecure Dean, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Kid Dean, Kid Sam, Love at First Sight, M/M, Moose, Non-Graphic Violence, Perfect little soldier, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean, Protective Dean Winchester, Running Away, Sam doesn't know, Sick Dean Winchester, Slow Build, Supportive Castiel, friends since childhood, hospital stay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-03-03 05:00:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 28,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13334019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tragically/pseuds/Tragically
Summary: John Winchester had always thought that he was a good parent, but ever since Mary had died, looking after the kids was hard. They reminded him of her constantly, making the ache for her almost unbearable.He coped by hunting the monsters that were hiding in the dark. Most people didn’t get it, didn’t understand it, but John didn’t care. He wasn’t going to sit by and watch how other families were getting torn apart, like his family had been. No, he was going to save them.But how was he going to save other families, if he couldn’t even figure out what had happened to his own son?Or the one where a hunt goes wrong and Dean can’t stop crying.





	1. Chapter 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my second Destiel. 
> 
> There are a few things that I want to share before we begin.  
> 1). Sam is only 2 years old in the first chapters (Dean is 7 almost 8).  
> 2). This story will contain child abuse. (Please be careful if this triggers you).  
> 3). There are no spoilers for seasons except for season 1.  
> 4). I plan to update weekly. 
> 
>  
> 
> Special thanks to: [Maheegan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Maheegan/pseuds/Maheegan/) for encouraging me and always being there for me.  
> I would also like to thank  
> [Delphini](https://www.quizlet.nl/users/Delphini) for making the cover for this story and of course special thanks to [SquaresAreNotCircles](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SquaresAreNotCircles), [Maheegan](https://www.quizlet.nl/users/Maheegan) and [Xyloto](https://www.quizlet.nl/users/Xyloto) for being my beta's.  
> Thank you very much! 
> 
> I hope you will enjoy!

                                                                               

 

Dean had always been protective over Sam, ever since the day he was born. He became even more protective when their mom died, but ever since Dean knew what really lurched in the shadows, he barely let his little baby brother out of sight. Every time John would leave to go on a hunt (leaving the two boys alone in a filthy hotel room, which Dean would spend hours on to clean before he would let Sam go even near the bedroom), it was the only thing he put into Dean’s head:  “The most important thing you have to do is watch out for Sam. Don’t let him out of your sight.” The sentence was drilled into his head. It was the only thing that John told him to do, pretty much all John told him to do. Never a ‘Watch out, Dean.’ or a ‘Be careful, Dean.’ Not even ‘I love you, Dean.’ The oldest Winchester boy was used to it by now, being turned into a perfect little soldier.

 

Today was no different. John had gone out almost a week ago and ever since Dean had kept a watchful eye on his little brother. He was like a hawk like that. There wasn’t anything that Dean didn’t see or notice. It didn’t take the young hunter long to notice that something was off about his younger brother. When he placed his hand on Sam’s forehead he felt the heat coming off of it. He had a fever, that was for sure.

 

The first thing the little hunter did was get his little brother to bed. It was surprisingly easy this time around. Normally Sammy would want all kind of things before he was fine with being put to bed and Dean honestly hated sometimes how he would just give in to the little boy's wishes. 

 

Dean went to grab some medicine, to keep his little brother safe, to make him sleep better, only to notice that the container in which he kept everything medicine related, was almost empty. He must have used it all when dad came back hurt, from the hunt, with some kind of monster Dean didn’t even care to remember which it had been. The was more concerned about his little brother who could be suffering because of his bastard father who just refused to just tell him that things were gone or they almost run out of things. It made the boy feel frustrated. Now he had to go to shop without Sam. It was almost six so he had to hurry if he wanted to have some medicine now and waking Sam up again would be a pain. So he desisted that he would break the rule, just for this one time. It was an emergency after all! So Dean grabbed his wallet and the key of the hotel room and went out, to get his brother some medicine.

 

When the boy got back though, bags with the needed supplies in both his hands, he was shocked to see what was going on. There was a stranger hanging above Sammy’s head! The plastic bags slipped out of the boy's hands while he grabbed his gun. Right at that moment, John Winchester came rushing into the room. Dean had his gun pointed at the unknown threat before him, but somehow he couldn’t shoot. What if he hit Sammy in the process?!

 

“What are you waiting for Dean?! Shoot!” His father was yelling, startling the boy. He hated to disappoint his father, but he honestly couldn’t do anything. He was frozen in fear of hurting Sam. If there was one thing in the world he was truly afraid of, it was hurting Sam. Before the boy could do something, John was already shooting with his own gun.

 

The thing that was hanging over Sam was turning into a grayish kind of dust, as soon as the bullet hit its head. Dean still stood there, gun in his hand, frozen in place while he stared at his brother, who looked like he was just sleeping soundly.  His dad was rushing towards him though. Taking him up in his arms while he was saying his name.

 

“Sam, Sam, are you alright?!” Panic clear in his voice. Sam woke up almost straight away, asking what was going on and John was holding his youngest son close to his chest, saying how glad he was and for the first time ever Dean felt like he didn’t belong;  like he was just an _intruder_ ; looking in on a private moment, a moment that really wasn’t meant for him. He started to wish that he was never born though, when John turned to look at him.

 

“You’re lucky that I was here on time! Do you even know what kind of danger you’ve put your little brother into?! And how much risks you took this evening?! If I had missed that shot it would’ve been twenty-five years before we could have another go at it!” John was furious and Dean just started to cry like he was a little kid. He was Seven for crying out loud! He was old enough to know that crying didn’t work with John. He stopped screaming at his son, but that was about it.

 

It was already past midnight and Dean was still going at it; still crying and it didn’t look like the boy would stop anytime soon. John was already losing his patience with the boy. 

 

“Alright Dean, we know that you wanted to cry, now please stop it. If you keep this up the neighbours will complain,” the older hunter said while he was packing their bags, just in case. They had been here for a long time now and John was almost sure of the fact that they were still needed elsewhere.  Dean had wanted to stop crying, honestly he did, but somehow he just couldn’t stop the stupid tears that were rolling now his face. They kept coming. He knew that it pissed his dad off more than anything else. His eyes and cheeks were already hurting from the amount of tears that he had produced and he started to feel so tired, but he just couldn’t stop the tears from falling.  “The Striga is dead now Dean, could you just stop it?!” John angrily threw a shirt into the duffle bag. He started to get a killer headache. It was bad enough that he had a toddler to take care of. He really couldn’t handle two annoying kids. Sam was hardly fussy, only when he couldn’t nap on time, but still; John Winchester hated it when his kids would start crying.

 

“Go wake your brother, I will put these in the car,” the tired hunter grumpily said before picking up their bags and walking towards the door. Dean didn’t like it to wake Sam up, he always looked so happy when he was napping, so unaware of the crappy world they lived in and sure Dean knew that it would take maybe two years before Sam’s bubble would burst and he would understand what kind of monsters are really out there, but Dean liked to think it was still years until his baby brother would find out about that. So he sighed and walked over to the bed. The tears were still falling over his face while he gently poked Sam in his side, making the toddler laugh.

 

He stopped laughing when he looked at Dean though. “Dee?” He asked softly in his little voice, unaware of what had happened before. 

 

“I’m here Sammy,” the oldest brother said softly, his voice sounded weird to his own ears. “Don’t worry.” He picked the boy up and wanted to walk out of the room, but John was quicker.

 

“Are you still crying?! What are you, a fucking girl?!” John took Sam out of his hands and before Dean could even see it coming, he felt how his father’s large palm had covered his cheek. A stinging pain followed, making the tears fall even quicker. The boy didn’t hear the sound of the smack, but he was sure that it was a loud one. He could swear that he saw stars because of it. “You stop it now, you hear me?!” John truly was at his limits and he honestly couldn’t deal with Dean’s little show for attention. 

 

“Is everything alright in here?” The old lady that had rented the room next door asked while she peeked into the room.

 

“Everything is perfectly fine, thank you. My son is just a bit tired, aren’t you boy?” John asked while he laid his hand on Deans shoulder and squeezed it a bit harshly, it made Dean feel anything but safe.  He just nodded, not trusting his voice right now. “If you would excuse us now, we want to get home.” The tired hunter smiled a bit to the older lady before ushering Dean to the car.

 

Sam was barely strapped in and covered into his favourite blanky when he turned to look at Dean with big brown eyes. He hadn’t seen what had happened to Dean, but he had heard the smack his older brother had received.  “Dee sad?” he asked softly with a wobbly voice, like he would start to cry with Dean anytime soon.

 

“No, it’s alright Sammy.” Talking hurt. His cheek was burning from the touch and the salty tears that had rolled over the skin before made it feel raw too. It felt like he was bleeding, but he couldn’t tell. He really didn’t care at the moment either. Sam needed to feel safe, that was his top priority.

 

“Dee?” Sam was holding his blanket up, offering the comfort and warmth of the thick material, while John stepped into the car and started it. He glared at his oldest son through the rearview mirror, making Dean feel unwanted and hated. He really wanted to disappear under Sammy’s blanket, he really could use the shelter from his father’s hateful eyes, but he sure knew that he would get trouble for it, so he softly shook his head.

 

“I-i-it’s alright Sammy,” he managed to stutter out between hiccups and sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. 
> 
> See you next week! (:


	2. Chapter 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit early, but I hope you don't mind.

                                                                                   

 

The car ride was long and tiresome. Sam had offered Dean his plush doggy, on which he drooled more often than not, before the toddler fell asleep, still feverish. It was one of the last things the little boy had of his mother. Most of the stuff she got for the baby had been destroyed in the fire. The older boy hadn’t taken it, even though he loved his brother for the offer. It was Sammy’s toy, his most beloved possession, so no, Dean just couldn’t take it.  
  
Dean was curled up in himself, leaning closely against the car door. The tears still falling over his cheeks like there was no tomorrow, his cheek was still hurting and it was harder to look out of his right eye. He managed to be quiet about it though and he had turned his face away from his father’s death glare that would come through the rear-view mirror every two seconds.  
  
Suddenly the car seemed to stop. The young hunter looked up and out of the window carefully. He bit his lip while he saw the familiar house of Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen. Dean instantly felt a little bit better, knowing that they were going there. The younger hunter liked it there; his dad didn’t know it, but Uncle Bobby let him be a kid there once in a while, played catch with him and took him to the park instead of constantly hammering hunting tricks into his mind.  
  
“I hope that you are happy now, Dean. Now Bobby can complain to me yet again!” John was downright furious and he really wanted to slap the boy again, but right now that didn’t seem like the brightest idea. Dean was feeling horrible about it all, really. He hated it to see his father like this, but he knew that this time, he really did deserve it. Sam could’ve died! Dean almost jumped up when he heard someone ticking on the car window. It was Bobby. He was looking like he just got out of bed.  
  
“Are you going to come inside or are we going to stay in this blasted cold all night?!” the older man asked, looking really tired. It was dark outside and Dean was grateful that Sam was still sleeping even though he still was feeling a bit warmer than usual. Bobby opened the car door and looked at Dean who was still a bit shocked because of everything that had happened.  
  
“Are you alright there, Dean?” the hunter asked softly while John was taking Sam out of his car seat.  
  
“Don’t worry about it, Bobby. He just walked into the door, didn’t you, boy?” John asked in the voice he used on Dean when he was training him. It was a voice Dean didn’t like at all. It was usually followed by insults and it never ended without Dean being hit. The boy was just glad that he didn’t do that to Sam, yet, and if it was up to Dean, it would never happen to Sam, not as long as he was there to stop it.  
  
“Is that so?” Bobby sounded suspicious while he looked from John to Dean. The child slowly unbuckled himself. Bobby didn’t even wait for him to get out of the car. He was being lifted out of the small space. In a reflex the boy wrapped his arms around Bobby’s neck. The tears were still running down his face.  
  
“Bobby, please put him down, he’s seven years old for crying out loud! Stop treating him like...” Bobby turned on his heels so quickly, that Dean feared that something might happen.  
  
“Like what, John? Like a child? Not sure if you noticed this, but he is a child! Not your ‘perfect little soldier’!” Uncle Bobby was turning red by the force he used to yell at his father. Because of all the commotion Aunt Karen was rushing outside, her hair all messy.  
  
“What’s going on in here?” she asked while she looked from John to Bobby and back. “Oh, that poor baby. He’s all red John!” She rushed towards Sam, a worried expression on her face.  
  
“Let’s go inside, we will talk there,” John grunted while he allowed Karen to take his youngest son out of his arms. “And besides I was just saying, Dean is already seven years old Bobby. I haven’t carried him like that since he was four, don’t spoil him like that. Besides isn’t he too heavy for you?” The words made Dean feel guilty, he could walk for himself and Uncle Bobby was not that young either. What if he hurt him? He wanted to let go, not to harm the only friendly grown-up he knew, but Bobby wasn’t having any of it.  
  
“Oh don’t pull that bullshit on me, John Winchester!” He hosted Dean up, allowing him access to his hip, so the boy could look around a bit more freely. “Look at him! If he really walked into something he might have hurt himself more than meets the eye and besides as long as I can carry him, I will. Soon enough he will be too big for that and you will regret that you never did it, as I recall Mary was the only one to pick him up,” Bobby said with bitterness in his voice before he walked inside his house, closely followed by one very pissed off John Winchester.  
  
“Don’t you talk about Mary like that!” The door was barely closed when John said that.  
  
“Don’t you lie to me about the boys! This doesn’t look like a wound because he ‘walked into something’ either! Did he 'incidentally' walk into your hand maybe?!” Bobby was raging with anger while he grabbed Dean a bit tighter, like he was scared that the boy would fall out of his grip otherwise.  
  
“Robert, please calm down, you will wake up Sam. Did you give him anything for his fever, John?” Karen asked softly while she came back into the kitchen. John shook his head before he turned his attention to Dean.  
  
“Did you, boy?” He looked at him like he expected him to not let him down. A shiver ran down Dean’s spine while he thought about it. With everything that had happened, he hadn't really thought about the medicine anymore.  
  
“N-no. I was going to, but when I came back from the store that- that- that thing was there already!” Dean was back to full-on crying now. He really didn’t care about John seeing him like that, he was just so scared about how Sammy was doing. Bobby was turning his attention to John.  
  
“They were attacked? By what?” He asked John, while he petted Dean on his head, his way of saying that he was a good boy for telling them all that.  
  
“Yes, I was out, hunting a Striga. When I got back to the hotel room Dean was just staring at it while it went for Sam!” While John said that Aunt Karen looked at Dean.  
  
“It’s alright dear. Do you want to come with me? So you can see Sam?” She clearly wanted him to calm down, but Dean was really grateful for the distraction. He was tired and everything hurt, but he still wanted to see his baby brother.  
  
“Karen, I don’t think that’s wise. They are too close as it is already,” John said while Dean got to his feet.  
  
“Shall we make apple pies tomorrow?” Karen ignored John while she took Dean’s little hand in hers and walked towards the stairs with him. “I could use some help and I know how good you are with them.” Dean tried to smile at that, but his cheek strung while he did that, so he just nodded. “Alright, it’s a promise then.” She smiled brightly at him while they walked towards the nursery that was in the Singers' home. They could hear Bobby and John yell at each other downstairs and Dean felt bad about that. It was his fault that they were fighting, anyway...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it and hopefully till next week! :)


	3. Chapter 3.

                                                                                   

 

Dean felt a bit better when he saw Sam, sleeping soundly in the nursery that was in the Singer’s household. His little brother looked so peaceful. He had his Moose (that’s what he had called his plush) pressed against his chest with his blanket wrapped around him and he couldn’t look any better. If you looked at Sam like that, you would believe that he was just a normal child, but Dean knew deep down that they weren’t normal, that what his dad did wasn’t normal at all. He would never have a normal life, no matter how much he wanted that. He just hoped that Sam would be able to live a normal life.

 

“You see, Sam is totally fine.” Aunt Karen smiled lovingly to Dean, who just nodded. He really couldn’t say anything. It would ruin the moment or wake Sam up and Dean didn’t want that. It had already been quite past his bedtime and the toddler needed his sleep. He was still growing after all.

 

“Let’s take a look at you now, sweetie.” Dean was gently led out of the room while Karen said it. The little broken hunter didn’t say anything, he didn’t protest. Now that he had seen that his little brother was fine, he went with her willingly. He trusted Karen. When they walked towards the upstairs bathroom, which was across Sam's room, they could still hear the yelling that was still going on downstairs. It sent shivers down the little boy’s spine. He hated it when his dad started to yell, but he hated it more when he started to hit him.

 

“Are you still crying?” she asked softly while she let Dean sit on the big bed in the room he usually slept in when they stayed here. It had been a little while since it last happened but it happens more often than not that they get dropped off here. It was a stupid question, seeing that the tears still ran freely over Dean’s face, but the boy was smart enough to get that it was her way of asking him what was wrong, so he just nodded. He didn’t trust his voice right now.

 

“I can’t st-ooo-op.” He sounded like a whining, needy child, that didn’t get his way. And honestly he didn’t want to sound like that, because Dean Winchester was anything but a whiny, needy child. He didn’t want to burden anyone with his existence. And it was not like Dean had a lot to whine about. He didn’t need much anyway. Karen looked at him with pity in his eyes and honestly that was the last thing that Dean wanted. He wasn’t someone to be pitied. There are people out there who had a life way worse than he did.

 

“It’s alright sweetie, you can cry if you want to.” She ruffled through the little boy’s hair, like she wanted to tell him that it was okay to cry. Sam couldn’t see him right now and they were safe here, Dean knew that, but still the tears kept falling out of his eyes, like there was no tomorrow. “I want to look at that cut though, would that be alright?” Aunt Karen asked softly, while she pointed to her own cheek.

 

“Yes.” Karen was up to get the first aid kit as soon as the little hunter had said it, fearing that the boy would fall asleep if she didn’t handle quickly enough. Dean was getting tired. Tired of the tears, of the sting whenever the salty water would touch the wound on his cheek. He hated how he couldn’t see clearly out of one eye, because his face was swollen. The events of today had drained most of his energy and still he felt like there were still so many tears that would fall out of his eyes. He didn’t want to cry anymore, it made him feel weak and small, like he couldn’t do anything else, like he was just a useless mess.

 

“This might sting a little”, was the warning Dean got before Karen carefully pushed one of the alcohol wipes against Dean’s cheek. The cut was bigger than the little hunter had expected, but he didn’t even notice the stinging from the stuff she had put on it. His cheek had started to feel numb, like the tears made him feel like this. It didn’t matter anyway. Sam was safe, that was the most important thing. Why was Aunt Karen even wasting her time on him? Sammy had a fever, he was really the one who needed care and attention, but he didn’t say anything, because Dean was selfish, and he just wanted the tears to stop falling.

 

 

 

“How is the little patient doing?” Uncle Bobby was walking into Dean’s bedroom. The front door had been slammed shut just a few moments before Uncle Bobby had come up the stairs. Karen had just been bandaging him up. A huge white gauze compress was placed on his cheek and taped to his skin by some special band-aids for it. His right side of his face still felt swollen, but auntie Karen said that she would need to take him to the hospital in the morning anyway, because she was worried about him and Dean felt really guilty about that. He didn’t want her to worry about him.

 

“He’s doing better now. He was such a big boy with the alcohol wipes. It stings a lot but Dean didn’t even move a muscle.” She smiled proudly at him, while she told Uncle Bobby all about it. Bobby smiled a little at that, before he came to sit beside Dean.

 

“Did something else happen, Dean? You know that you can tell me anything, right?” The older hunter looked tired, but yet, here he was, still making time for Dean. Sure, he had almost yelled himself hoarse, trying to get through John Winchester's thick skull that Dean was just a kid, not some soldier and yes, he was getting a bit too old to be doing those kinds of things, but he felt like the kids needed him, because if he wasn’t going to stand up for them, who would? Mary wasn’t here anymore to talk some sense into him and God, did he need it! Bobby himself had grown up with an abusive father, so he knew the signs. He saw them in Dean, but the little boy refused to tell him about that. He didn’t seem to what to know that this wasn’t how normal fathers should react; that it wasn’t okay to be hit or even treated the way he was. The poor kid’s face was all swollen up and the way he was crying, clearly meant that something had happened, but Bobby just didn’t know all the details. And Dean clearly wasn’t ready to tell them to him.

 

“I’m...” The boy looked at his shoes again, clearly feeling uncomfortable. Bobby sensed it and placed a hand on his.

 

“It’s alright Dean. I just want you to know that you can tell me anything and everything you want. No matter when. You can always tell me, when you’re ready. I will be here, I will be listening. I won’t judge you, you know that, right? It doesn’t matter when you want to talk about it, I just want you to know you can always come to me, no matter what it is, what time it is or even in what country you are. I will always be here.” If Dean wasn’t already crying, he would be now. The older hunter was like a real father to him, the one he could trust. “But let’s not talk about it today, alright? It looks like you could use some sleep.” Bobby was right, Dean was really tired, but the tears still hadn’t stopped. The oldest Winchester brother hoped they would stop falling soon.

 

“Let’s get you ready for bed,” Karen said softly while she walked towards the dresser and started to look for Dean’s pajamas that they had left here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psst, the next chapter will have Castiel in it. (: 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and hopefully till next week! ^^


	4. Chapter 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is finally here! ^^ 
> 
> Also: This beautiful drawing was so cute that I used it as inspiration for this chapter. The drawing was made by [Muhwa](http://muhwa2222.tumblr.com/)   
>  Thank you so much [reaperlove](http://archiveofourown.org/users/reaperlove/pseuds/reaperlove) for letting me know this (:

                                                                    

 

It had been a while since Dean had said goodnight to both Bobby and Karen, before they left his room. The door was open, just a little bit. He had asked them to leave it open, just in case Sam would wake up. Sam did tend to wake up in the middle of the night especially when he was sick, so Dean was already prepared for that. He didn’t want to take any more sleep from Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen than absolutely necessary. It had already been late when they arrived, the sky was all dark and already had stars in it.

 

The hunter sighed softly while he looked at the little clock that was standing on his night stand. The digital clock was saying that it was 4:30. He was so tired, yet he couldn’t sleep, his eyes hurt and so did his head. His cheek wasn’t doing much better either and the tears were still falling. He didn’t know how to stop it.

 

“Dean, are you still awake?” a soft voice asked, barely a whisper. It came out the middle of nowhere and the voice didn’t sound familiar to the hunter, startling him.

 

“Yes, who are you?” he whispered back, a slight tremble in his voice. He had wrapped one of his hands around the knife he had underneath his pillow. You never knew for sure what was lurking in the darkness and Dean trusted no-one. Especially in the dark. Who knew what kind of monsters were out there! But Uncle Bobby’s house was heavily protected against all kinds of monsters, so that must mean that this was a new kind of monster or maybe something that had found a way around it! But Uncle Bobby was so careful with everything. Something couldn’t have come through unnoticed, right?!

 

“My name is Castiel. I’m an angel of the Lord,” the voice answered, to which Dean blinked. Angels? Angels were real now too?! Sure, he knew about demons and many other creatures that lurked in the nights, but angels? Really? What was next, that fairies are real now too?!

 

“An angel?” Dean wasn’t aware of the fact that he said that out loud, he was still thinking about how this could be possible.

 

“Yes, Dean. As a matter of fact, I’m your angel, the one that your mother asked for,” the voice answered and suddenly it seemed to hit Dean hard in the feelings. His mother always said that “angels are watching over you.” She truly did believe in them. Maybe if you believed hard enough in them, they would become real?

 

“My... my mom knows about this?” the little boy asked softly. He was starting to lose his death grip on the weapon in his hands.

 

“Yes.” Dean swallowed at that answer. He missed his mom so much.

 

“Is my mom doing okay up there? Is she an angel too?” the little broken hunter asked softly. He wanted to know if he had told Sammy the truth when he had asked for her. He had told him that she was an angel and that she was very busy looking out for them.

 

“She’s... well, she’s doing just fine. Don’t worry about that, she’s just no angel, I’m sorry,” the voice answered back softly. Somehow it was a very soothing voice, it calmed Dean down instantly. Nobody really had that effect on him anymore. Only his mom had that, but she wasn’t here, not anymore.

 

“Does Sammy have one too? An angel I mean,” Dean asked, while he sat up, curling his arms around his knees.

 

“Yes, Gabriel is his name. He’s very special too. He’s an Archangel, which is more powerful than a normal angel,” Castiel answered. Dean was happy to hear that. At least Sam had some badass angel to look after him, so he wouldn’t get hurt if Dean wasn’t there for him in time, just like had happened today.

 

“Can you thank Gabriel for me? For what happened today.” Dean felt small and miserable to think back about it. If this angel wasn’t there, Sam could’ve died and it was all Dean’s fault. If he hadn’t frozen up like that he might have saved Sammy better.

 

“Dean, what happened today wasn’t your fault,” Castiel's voice said, like he could read the boy's mind.

 

“Can I see you?” Dean asked softly, ignoring what the angel had said to him. He didn’t want to think about it any longer.

 

“I’m sorry Dean, but you can’t. You can’t see my true form anyway.” Before the Angel could say anything else, Dean was already asking him something.

 

“Why not? I won’t laugh, I promise.” Dean was getting curious now. Why wouldn’t he be able to see Castiel? Could he be invisible? Or didn’t he want to show himself to Dean because he thought that he would laugh at him?

 

“You would be blinded if I showed you my true form.” That scared Dean, a little bit, but still he wanted to know more.

 

“Why?” It seemed like it was the only thing he could ask. His throat was hurting though and he honestly hadn’t thought that he could go on that long without sleep.

 

“Because humans can’t see us like we angels see each other. Please close your eyes, maybe I can make the tears stop.” The angel sounded so sincere that Dean did what he was told. He closed his eyes and before he knew it, the whole room was lighting up, Dean could see it even though his eyes were closed, like he had promised. He could feel something brush slightly over his forehead and his cheek. A few words in a language the human couldn’t understand were said and suddenly the swelling started to feel less painful, it even felt like the swelling was going away. His cheek still felt stingy but less than it had been before. Just as fast as the light had been in his room, just as fast it was gone. “You can open your eyes now.”

 

“Thank you,” Dean said softly while he slowly opened his eyes again. He could look out of his both eyes again and when he carefully touched his cheek he felt that it wasn’t swollen anymore. There were still some tears falling out of his eyes, though, which was still annoying, but there weren’t as many as there were before.

 

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t stop all your tears. It seems like this thing that your dad was hunting has put a spell on you to make you cry. I could only make you cry less, I couldn’t let it stop. And I did remove the swelling from your cheek, but I didn’t heal the wound underneath. It would freak your human uncle and aunt out if I did.” Dean was already happy that he wasn’t crying all that much anymore. It was a start and the fact that the swelling was going away was great too.

 

“Thank you, Castiel. Does this mean that I can’t tell them about you?” the human boy asked softly, like he was scared that someone would walk in on them and think that he went crazy, talking to himself or something.

 

“You can’t tell them about me, I’m sorry Dean.” The angel sounded truly sorry that he couldn’t tell anyone about them.

 

“I won’t tell, Cass, I promise.” The boy was determined to keep his little secret. 

 

“Why don’t you try to sleep now? You’ve been awake for hours.” The angel sounded worried. Dean sighed again while he got back under the covers again.

 

“I can’t sleep. Sammy is sick. What if he wakes up and needs me and I’m sleeping? What if I can’t hear him?” Dean had fears like that. While other kids were scared of the dark, wetting their beds and monsters, Dean was actually scared to fail to be there for his little brother. He didn’t like to let his little brother down.

 

“It’s alright Dean, your brother is sleeping and if he wakes up Bobby and Karen are here to take care of him too. You need to sleep now. Give yourself some rest so you can be there for him during the day.” Castiel sounded so reasonable, yet Dean couldn’t give in just yet, something was stopping him.

 

“But Sammy comes first.” It was his instinct screaming at him, telling him to stop being a selfish brat and start being the big brother he is supposed to be.

 

“Sleep now, Dean.” Castiel's voice sounded more soothing than it did before and Dean did feel some pressure on the top of his head. “It’s alright Dean, I got you, I will watch over you.” And with those words Dean’s eyes closed against his will and he fell asleep within seconds of doing so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Castiel didn't really showed up like you expected, but I hope you liked it anyway. 
> 
> Hopefully till next week! (:


	5. Chapter 5.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update!
> 
> I hope you will enjoy it (:

                                                                               

 

 

Dean was feeling very groggy when he was awakened by the crying of his baby brother.  The tears had finally stopped falling and the hunter was feeling so tired, but he couldn’t let Sam cry. It wasn’t his fault at all. Instinctively the hunter reached out to the little boy, only to find that Sammy wasn’t there. Dean opened his eyes when he noticed this, suddenly very awake.

 

It took a moment for Dean to notice that they weren’t in some filthy hotel room for once, but at Bobby’s home, which meant that Sam would be sleeping in another room. The boy sat up and sighed while he got up. He didn’t want to wake up uncle Bobby and aunt Karen, but it was hard to stay quiet, especially since Dean was used to being all alone with Sam. It normally didn’t really matter if he made a noise at night or not.

 

The boy walked towards Sam’s room and noticed that it was still dark outside. He walked into the room and turned the light on, at which Sam looked up, the tears still in his eyes.

 

“Heya, Sammy. What’s going on, little buddy?” he asked softly, while he got his little brother out of his crib and into his arms. The little guy wrapped his arms around his older brother while his sobs died down. “Did you have a nightmare?” Dean asked softly while he held his brother close to him, knowing that it would calm Sam down. Sam shook his head while he clung on tightly to Dean’s shirt.

 

“Are you hurt?” It could only be a few other things than that, but Dean already had an idea what it could be. Again Sam was shaking his head. Well, then there was only one other option left. “Did you wet yourself?” he asked softly. The thing was, Sam was already potty trained and normally he wouldn’t wet the bed anymore, but sometimes when he was feeling ill or sick he would do it. That’s why Dean let him wear a diaper to bed on those occasions. John would kill him if he found about this though, so he didn’t tell him. Sam nodded, pressing his head into the crook of Dean’s neck, feeling ashamed.

 

“It’s alright, buddy. You couldn’t help it.” Dean softly stroked through Sam’s hair in an attempt to calm him down. It seemed to work, because Sam stopped crying. “Alright, let’s get you cleaned up.” Dean started to gather all the things he would need so he could give Sam a nice bath. It was almost five thirty in the morning and Dean feared that this might be the point at which Sam didn’t want to go back to sleep anymore. He could better be clean, then.

 

When that was done, Dean walked to the bathroom and laid the clean pyjama’s, diaper and towels on the stand next to the bathroom sink and put Sam down on the ground before he put the stop into the bath and let the water fill the bathtub.

 

The water was filled with bubbles when Dean felt it to check if it was the right temperature. He smiled to himself when he noticed that the water was just fine for Sam to be put in. He started to undress his little brother, throwing the dirty diaper in the bin and the pyjama in the washer. He carefully placed his younger sibling in the bubbly water, which made the younger boy happy. He happily started to splash the water.

 

Dean couldn’t help but laugh when he saw his little brother play happily with the rubber duck he had put in the bath with the toddler. Sam always had this effect on him. No matter how grim the situation seemed to be, Sam was always able to make him smile. He had to protect Sam and his innocence as best as he could. He had to make sure that their dad wouldn’t turn Sam into a hunter. No, he had to protect Sam against this life. Maybe he still had a chance to go and live a normal life. The hunter sighed while he took a washcloth and began to clean his baby brother up.

 

“Alright Sammy, I’m going to clean up the bathroom and after that we can go and see if your shows are on yet.” Sam was all cleaned up and dressed again. Dean picked him up again and put him in the crib while he said it, making the little child coo in delight.

 

The tired hunter was quick in cleaning up the mess in the bathroom before changing into something else himself. The wounds on his face still hurt, but he tried to ignore it. He had deserved it after all. Sam had been in danger because of him. How could he ever forgive himself for that?! He sighed before he walked back to Sam’s room and took him out of the crib, taking his plush and the blanket with him.

 

Dean carefully walked down the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to wake the grown-ups. He was relieved when he walked into the living room and noticed that uncle Bobby was still snoring. If aunt Karen could sleep through that, she must be a very deep sleeper. Dean turned the television on and placed his little brother on the living room floor, after he had laid a blanket there for his little brother to sit on. He gave Moose to the little kid and wrapped Sammy’s own blanket around the toddler while he let the child watch Cartoon Network. It had all kind of children's series on, especially made for young ones. The hunter tiredly let himself sit down on the couch, close to Sam. The little Winchester was pretty occupied by the tv. So much even, that he didn’t even look at Dean. It didn’t take long or Dean’s eyes started to droop. He really wanted to watch over his little brother, make sure that nothing would be happening to him, but he was so tired, that it didn’t take long before the little hunter was fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Hopefully till next time! (: 
> 
> ~I will most likely post again in a few days to make up for the late chapter.


	6. Chapter 6.

 

                                                                               

 

The smell of apple pie filled Dean’s nose. The hunter tiredly opened his eyes and looked up. He was sitting on a couch and the TV was still playing. Crap, he had fallen asleep, hadn’t he?! Panic was creeping through his body while he sat up straight. He looked around, but he didn’t see Sammy. Softly cursing under his breath, the hunter got up and ran into the kitchen. Maybe Sam had been hungry.

 

Dean suddenly felt way better now that he saw that aunt Karen had Sam in her arms. She was just putting the toddler in his high chair when Dean walked into the room.

 

“Dee!” was Sam’s reaction to seeing his older brother. Karen turned around.

 

“Oh, good morning, Dean!” She smiled widely at him. “Did you sleep alright?” The hunter nodded before he went to sit beside Sam.

 

“Morning. Yeah, it was alright, thank you. I hope I didn’t wake you, though,” the little hunter said before he smiled at his little brother and went through the toddler’s hair. “Morning, Sammy.”

 

“No, of course not. I’m glad to see that Sam’s fever is gone! Would you like some pancakes?” She asked softly while Bobby walked into the kitchen. Dean was really glad that Sam was feeling better. He hated it when his little brother was sick and there wasn’t much that he could do to help the little guy.

 

“Morning. Did someone say pancakes?” uncle Bobby asked before he sat down in his chair, opening up the paper aunt Karen had already laid there for her husband.

 

“... Cakes!” was what Sam cheered for. Dean smiled at that. His brother was way too cute for his own good. He was going to be a ladykiller when he grew up, that was for sure. Dean always had high hopes for Sam’s future. Sam would be popular in school, he would have tons of friends and no one would bully him. Not like they did to Dean. The boy would make sure of it. He would hurt everyone who would even think about hurting his little brother. And he would get a nice girlfriend, someone who would support his little brother all the way. He would be great at sports and he would be the smartest boy in the class, but he wouldn’t be geeky. Dean would make sure of it. Sam would be the greatest kid ever, eating all healthy and growing up to be tall and strong, so all the girls would fall for him. Dean nodded to himself while he thought about it. Yes, that would be nice. Sam would have a very nice and bright future ahead of him if it was up to Dean.

 

“Yeah, pancakes would be great!” Dean agreed while he watched how Karen started to get the ingredients out for the promised pancakes. He also noticed that the pies were already in the oven. Dean smiled sadly at his plate. He loved the apple pies that aunt Karen made, they were honestly the best, but hadn’t she promised him to make them together? Dean also loved spending time with her, baking and laughing with her in the kitchen, goofing about stupid stuff. Maybe he really shouldn’t overthink it all. She was just trying to be nice and he had overslept, after all, so he really couldn’t blame her, but still, it hurt a little bit. “Would you like my help?” he asked softly, trying to be polite.

 

“No need, honey. I’m almost done anyway.” She smiled over her shoulder. Uncle Bobby seemed to sense that something was going on, because he was lowering the newspaper before looking at Dean and folding it up after that.

 

 “Did you sleep alright?” the older hunter asked, eying the child in front of him. Dean was looking tired and worn out. It didn’t suit him. He was so young and already so tired. Bobby wasn’t stupid. He knew what kind of life Dean lead with John. The oldest child was most likely doing all the things John should be doing: taking care of young Sam, making breakfast, lunch and dinner, cleaning, washing and drying and on top of that Dean was supposed to go to school and do his homework too, but when would the kid have time for that? Did he even go to school, now that Sam was still too young to go too? A shiver ran down Bobby’s spine when he thought about that. He had better be going to school! He couldn’t put himself behind on purpose, right?!

 

“Yes, thank you. Sam woke up around five thirty so I went to get him ready. We watched some TV, but I guess I dozed off after that.” The boy even dared to look ashamed of that! The kid had had about four hours of sleep and he was ashamed that he fell asleep after he got up to take care of Sam?! Before Sam woke up, he must have had about two hours of sleep or less!

 

“Dean...” The older hunter really wanted to say something about it, to tell him that it wasn’t normal for a kid his age to act like this, but he closed his mouth when he saw the look in the kid’s eyes. Dean was somehow convinced that Sam needed him and him alone, which was  probably true. Bobby had to admit that he would rather have Dean look after him than some stranger who might kidnap him later or something. You never knew with all the strange and disturbing things that were going on in the world. Being a hunter of supernatural beings on top of that made them very aware of the fact that they couldn’t trust people or things that looked like people. In fact, it was even dangerous to let your guard down like that. Before anything else could happen, Karen put a plate full of pancakes in front of them.

 

“Now eat.” She smiled brightly while she watched how Dean got a pancake for Sam and started to cut it for him, adding lots of syrup when he was done. He was even making airplane noises and holding it up like one, before he started to feed the little one. It warmed her heart to see Dean like that and when she looked at her husband, she could see that it hit him too. Dean was too precious and he didn’t even realise it himself.

 

The little family moment was ruined as soon as the door was kicked open and a furious-looking John Winchester walked into the house.

 

“Grab your bags, we’re leaving,” was John’s grumpy command when he saw his sons. He didn’t even look at Bobby and Karen. He was furious! How dare they take his kids! Dean, scared of what might happen if he didn’t obey, got up and ran up the stairs. Packing their bags yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Hopefully till next time! (:


	7. Chapter 7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back.
> 
> In this chapter the boys are a bit older.

                                                               

 

Dean woke up to the sound of his little brother wailing his name. He groaned and let his painful body parts pop, before he looked at the nightstand where his clock was standing. 8:30.

 

“Dee! Dee! Deeeeee! Wake up!” Sam was jumping up and down on the bed. It made the older boy smile. He had had his dream again, the dream that hadn't been a real dream: it had really happened three years ago. Bobby couldn’t believe it when he woke up the next morning. He had slept for four hours, because after that Sam started to scream and Dean was by his side within seconds. Now though, Sam had turned five and he could talk so much better. He was so proud of his baby brother and he was glad that he hadn’t remembered what had happened that night. What Sam didn’t know, didn’t hurt him, or at least that was what Dean told himself. When he woke up that day, the tears had stopped. The only evidence of that night had been the cut on his cheek and the red rimmed eyes he had in the morning. Nobody had said anything about it anymore and by early midday his dad had come to pick them up again, going for yet another hunt.

 

“I’m up, I’m up,” the ten-year-old said softly, while he grabbed the little boy, so he wouldn’t hurt himself. He was already dressed, as well as a five-year-old could, anyway. His shirt was inside out, but other than that he had done a pretty good job.

 

“We’re going to the store, right?” Sam sounded so excited that Dean just couldn’t say no to him. He still couldn’t sleep more than four hours and this night he had had even less. His right side had been hurting all night long and even now it was hurting, maybe even worse than before, but that was impossible, right? It was probably nothing, a pulled muscle most likely. Honestly, Dean really didn’t feel like going to the store right now, but he had promised Sam that if he ate his broccoli last night that he would take him to the store today to get him some new toys and books. He was very smart for his age and the books he had now where starting to become too easy for him, so Dean wanted to get him something special. Maybe he could already think about what to get Sam for his birthday.

 

“Yes, I promised that, didn’t I?” Sam nodded when the oldest said that. He smiled at his little brother before he petted him softly. “Alright, let me get ready and then we can go,” he promised while he got up. Sam was cheering, but Dean could barely make a fake smile when the pain hit him in the side with every step he took. The hunter groaned when he was finally in the bathroom, closing the door behind him.  Why had he promised this again? He wondered about that while he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror.

 

The hunter started to laugh, despite the pain that rushed through his body. He looked ridiculous. When he had come back from the shop and Sam was safely back inside the hotel room, Dean had tripped in the parking lot. The asphalt had left a wound on his underarm. It had been a bigger cut than Dean had expected. It did hurt though. It felt like it was burning. Sam had seen it and demanded to be the one to help him out by disinfecting the wound and bandaging him up. The little boy had also offered him Moose to watch over him. After he was done with that, he had put stickers on him. “To let the happiness get inside you! It will cheer you up, Dee!” Sammy had told him that he wanted to become a nurse or a doctor, someone to save lives, just like the doctor on that TV show that Dean loved to watch. Dean was ashamed to admit it, but he enjoyed watching that TV doctor. But if it made Sam so happy, then he didn’t mind. He carefully started to pull the happy-face stickers from his forehead. He couldn’t walk around in a store with his face full of stickers now, or could he?

 

 

As soon as Dean was in the store, with Sam by his side (he had let the little toddler switch shirts before they went out), he noticed that this was a very bad idea. The store was huge, crawling with kids and their parents, and Dean’s pain was getting worse. He could almost swear that he was sweating now and they hadn’t even walked that far. And of course now that they were actually in the store, it was too late for Dean to say let’s go back, because it would totally break Sam’s heart and Dean just didn’t have that in him. Especially not now that he noticed that Sam’s favorite cartoon character was walking around the store and that Sam had started to tug enthusiastically on his hand when he noticed said character too. 

 

“Dee! Let’s go!” Sam wanted to walk further into the store, but Dean was frozen in the spot he was standing. The pain was almost unbearable now and he felt like he almost couldn’t move. “Dee?!” The youngest brother looked up, but Dean was good at faking a smile at him, taking his worries away.

 

“Why don’t you go look for the character you like so much? And after you’re done spending some time with him, you can look for the stuff you want me to buy afterwards. Go have fun, but be careful, okay? Don’t go with strangers and don’t take any candy! I will be right here.” Dean tried to smile before he went with his hand through Sam’s hair. The boy just nodded happily before he ran off to the anime character he couldn’t shut up about. Dean wanted to turn on his heels, to just go and sit there on the sofa he had seen when they came in, so he could wait for Sam there, but the pain in his side made it impossible. A painful groan left his lips and suddenly the world started to spin very fast around him. Before the boy could even start to understand what was going on, he fell to the ground. His mind was spinning and breathing was starting to get difficult. Dean lost consciousness while someone shouted that an ambulance was needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psst, Sam can say "Dean" but he just likes "Dee" better (: -Just like Dean likes to call him "Sammy". I thought that it was cute to let them use nicknames for each other. 
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoyed it and hopefully till next time! ^^


	8. Chapter 8.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter is all about angels and a bit longer than normal, but I hope you don't mind that. 
> 
> Enjoy! ^^

                                                                      

 

Castiel was a bit shocked to see what was happening in the human world beneath him. To be more specific: to see what was happening to Dean. He was always looking out for the boy, but sometimes the angel would get distracted, which had happened today. Samandriel had been the one to distract him with some questions about humans, since he had never been to earth before and Castiel was happy to answer those questions, but he hadn’t noticed that this caused so much pain to the older Winchester brother. The angel knew instantly that he had to go down to Earth to fix this, before Sam and Dean got into real trouble.

 

“Sam? Sam?” Dean was slipping in and out of consciousness, but he tried his best to stay alert, worried sick about his little brother. “Where’s Sammy?” he weakly asked the woman who was putting an IV-drip on him.

 

“I don’t have the time to look for your dog, sweetie. We have to worry about you. You have to go to the hospital.” The answer shocked the little hunter. They couldn’t leave Sam there! He would be lost without him! And God knew what kind of creeps were in that shopping centre!

 

“Sam?! Cass?!” The human was distracted and in pain. Castiel could hear Dean’s prayers right before he was rolled into the ambulance.

 

“ _Please Castiel, can you hear me? If you can, could you please go get Sammy for me? He’s all alone in a store. They won’t let me get him. Please, Cass._ ” The angel didn’t need to hear any more than that. Dean needed him, so he would go.

 

“Gabriel, did you hear that?” The archangel looked up to his little brother and noticed how worried he looked.

 

“What’s going on, Castiel?” he asked, slightly worried about him. Castiel hardly ever worried about something, especially on a bright day like today. Samandriel was walking towards his brother and placed his hand on his shoulder before the angel could say anything.

 

“I heard Dean’s prayers. Would it be alright if I went with you?” the smaller angel asked. He was a year younger than Castiel, but he was wise beyond his years.

 

“Yes. I need all the help I can get. But Gabriel, Dean has fainted, his appendix is about to burst and they have taken him to the hospital, but without Sam. He’s worried sick about him. We have to find him and save him! You are his angel, you have a more profound bound with him. Could you please help me find him? I need to bring him back to Dean.” Castiel was starting to feel a bit desperate. What if he couldn’t find the boy? What if Gabriel said that it was his own fault for being distracted?!

 

“Dean, as in Dean Winchester?” Gabriel asked, frowning his eyebrows when he did so.  Castiel nodded at the question.

 

“Yes, Sam Winchester’s older brother.” Gabriel, the trickster that he was, smiled.

 

“Oh, you mean the surrogate dad.” Castiel rolled his eyes at that.

 

“Please Gabe, don’t joke around like that. Dean didn’t choose to be.” The angel smiled at that.

 

“That might be true, Castiel. But let’s not forget how incredibly good he is at it. To answer your question: yes, I will go with you.” Both of the younger angels smiled at that. It was a good thing that Gabriel wanted to come with them. Seeing as he was Sam’s angel, he did have a more profound bound with the kid. Maybe he wouldn’t listen to Dean’s order to “not go with any strangers”, and come with them willingly.

 

“What, you three wanted to go to Earth without me?” Balthazar’s voice sounded hurt when he appeared before them.

 

“I’m sorry, Brother, I didn’t think that you would’ve been interested in coming with us,” answered the angel before he grabbed his older brother’s hand and smiled at him. “But I would be very happy if you wanted to join us.” Balthazar smiled softly before nodding.

 

“Let’s get going then!” All four angels flew to Earth.

 

 

“Well, I have to say that it’s really crowded today,” was the first thing that Balthazar said, while he started to walk around in his new vessel. He looked older than Castiel expected of him. He had dark blond hair and blue eyes. His older brother looked like he was about fifty human years old.

 

“At least your vessel doesn’t look like he’s fifty years old or something,” came Gabriel’s cranky voice when he appeared, just before them. Gabriel now had dirty blond hair and brownish eyes. He looked younger than his other sibling, but not that much. Five years younger, tops. Castiel just shook his head while he looked at them. They didn’t have the time for this! His vessel was that of Jimmy Novak. The boy in question was just about Dean’s age and was the perfect vessel for him at the moment. Jimmy had very blue eyes and black hair and Castiel would swear that his vessel was shorter than Dean was at the moment and oddly enough, that thought pleased him.

 

“Wow Cassie, you look young.” Samandriel’s voice startled the youngest looking angel. He turned around to see his youngest brother, looking like an awkward seventeen-year-old. He had dark brown hair that was covered for the most part by a red hat that matched his outfit. His brother also had blue eyes, like Castiel. He really stood out amongst them in his red and white striped uniform from the “Wiener hut”. It must’ve been from some kind of fast food restaurant his vessel worked at.

 

“Thank you, but let’s not focus so much on our vessels. We have to find Sam before something happens to him!” Castiel’s voice sounded very childlike. It sounded a bit strange, even to his own ears. The angels nodded before they all walked in different directions.

 

 

It didn’t take too long or Gabriel was talking through Angel Radio, saying that he had found Sam in aisle 19. Castiel smiled when he saw the little boy, unharmed. He was looking at a few plushes, his stuffed puppy in arm, pressed close to his body.

 

“I don’t know where Dee is, Moose. Do you think that...” Before the child could say any more to his beloved plushie, Gabriel was walking toward the kid, with a clown’s mask on. But instead of smiling and walking towards the so called “child friend”, the little boy looked terrified. The little boy turned on his heels and started to run towards Castiel. The angel frowned at his older brother before he stepped in and grabbed the frightened kid by his arm.

 

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked the child softly, who looked up at him with wide eyes, filled with horror, like he had just seen his biggest nightmare.

 

“The... c... the monster, is it gone?” the toddler asked softly. Castiel looked at Gabriel, who innocently put the mask away.

 

“Yeah, he’s gone. Don’t worry. I got you.” Sam started to look very uncomfortable. “What’s wrong?” the angel asked when he saw the look on the youngest Winchester.

 

“Dee...Dee said that I couldn’t talk to strangers,” the little boy said softly, while he looked at the floor, suddenly ashamed that he had broken his promise to his older brother.

 

“It’s alright, Sammy. Dean asked me to come and get you.” At this the little boy looked up.

 

“Really?” He sounded hopeful, like he had been waiting for Dean for ages. It made Castiel feel guilty. Samandriel walked towards them, closely followed by Balthazar.

 

“Yes. He didn’t feel good and fainted. They took him to the hospital,” the angel said honestly. He didn’t tell the little kid that his older brother had fainted because of the pain he was in. He just couldn’t tell him that.

 

“Is Dee okay?” he asked softly, a little afraid of all the strange people that were coming so close to them.

 

“Yeah, he asked me to come and get you, didn’t he?” Castiel smiled. “So here I am. Do you want to see Dean now?” Sammy was biting his lip while he looked at the other angels.

 

“But who are you? I don’t know you and Dean said not to go with strangers.” Damn it, the little boy was smart.

 

“Well, if you come with us, I will give you all the candy that you want,” Gabriel tried, fancying a candy bar for himself. Oh how he wanted a freaking candy right now. Sam’s eyes wided at that. Before Castiel saw it coming, the little Winchester kicked Gabriel in the shins before he started to run away from them. Sighing, Samandriel went after the kid.

 

“Well, we tried the normal way,” was Balthazar’s explanation while he grabbed Gabriel by the shoulder and healed the wound on his brother’s painful leg.

 

“Damn that Dean Winchester! He turned Sam against me.” Gabriel was sulking while he said it.

 

“I hate to break it to you, brother, but I think you did that to yourself,” was Balthazar’s reply. Before any of them could say anything about it, Samandriel reappeared before them, with a screaming Sam in his arms. His face had turned bright red from screaming and there were tears falling down his face. Castiel could feel his heart break from just looking at the boy.

 

“Let’s get out of here before the other humans really think that we are kidnapping him.” It was Gabriel who grabbed them all by the hand and teleported them to the hospital Dean had been admitted to.

 

“Sam, it’s alright. We really only want to help you. Dean is in here, I promise. I just have to go in first and see if he’s okay,” Castiel said softly, before Sam leaned over Samandriel’s arm and puked all over Balthazar, making the angel cringe. Gabriel was laughing at him, while Samandriel tried to calm the little kid down. Poor Sam was probably sick, because the transportation was rather hard for humans.

 

“Just watch over him for me for a minute, while I go to see if Dean is stable enough to get visitors.” Castiel didn’t wait to hear the reply and walked into the room Dean was in. He looked very pale and his eyes were closed. Maybe he was still sleeping. There was a monitor beeping every now and then and the older Winchester boy was on an IV drip. The angel shivered while he carefully placed his hand on the human’s hand. It was the one to which the tubes were connected. The hunter tiredly opened up his eyes. He gasped softly when he looked at the angel.

 

 

****  
  
“C-C-Cass?” he asked softly, slightly in disbelief. His voice sounded horrible, but he really didn’t care for that at the moment. “Is this really you?” he asked softly. He had never seen Castiel in his human form before and if he was completely honest: he was beautiful. He had the most beautiful eyes Dean had ever seen.  
  
“Yes, it’s me, Dean.” The angel smiled softly before he gave a soft squeeze in the hunters hand. “How are you feeling?” Castiel was really worried. The human did look so pale and sweaty.  
  
“I’ve been better. But I guess it’s normal to look like shit after surgery.” Castiel felt slightly embarrassed. If he had been there sooner, the human wouldn’t have needed the surgery at all! He could’ve just healed him just fine!  
  
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t here sooner, Dean. I could’ve healed you, without scarring you,” the angel said softly before he placed his hand on the hunter’s forehead.  
  
“It’s alright Cass. Is Sammy okay?” Dean felt so tired, but he wanted to look at Castiel. He didn’t get many chances to see him like this. Yes, he could always hear him and talk to him, but he had never seen him before and he honestly liked the angel and the way he looked at him. He looked genuinely worried about him and his safety. “Where is he?” Dean was worried about his baby brother. Yes, he trusted Castiel, especially with Sam, but it worried him that he couldn’t see his baby brother, though.  
  
“Yes, we got him okay. Are you feeling okay enough to see him? Don’t worry Dean, he’s with my brothers. They got him,” the angel told him honestly, still holding onto the boy’s hand. It felt natural to do so and the hunter seemed to like it.  
  
“Of course I am. I want to see Sammy,” Dean said softly, clearly worn out because of it all.  
  
“I will go get him,” the angel said and wanted to let go of his hand, but Dean stopped him.  
  
“Please Castiel, please stay.” He sounded so scared that the angel simply nodded. He just didn’t think about it. Dean needed him, so he would stay. Instead he asked his brothers through their angel radio to come into the room.  
  
“Deeeee!” Sam came running towards the bed, his arms stretched out wide for Dean to pick him up. The human grimaced a little at that. He couldn’t even sit up right at the moment, let alone pick up his little brother.  
  
“Sammy, I’m so happy to see you,” the hunter said while Castiel got up and picked the little boy up. Sam allowed it this time around.  
  
“Please be careful, Sam. Dean got hurt.” The little child nodded before Castiel carefully let him sit on the bed. Sam didn’t waste a second. He got up and crawled to his older brother. Climbing up to him, so he could lay his head against his shoulder. Kicking Dean in his painfully and stitched up side. Dean hissed softly while Sam clung on to him, crying a little.  
  
“What’s wrong, buddy?” Dean felt like crying himself. His side was hurting so much, even though he didn’t have his appendix anymore now. The kick Sam had given him was harder than he had expected in the sensitive area. He could feel the blood coming out of his wound. One of the stitches must have come undone then. It was painful, but the hunter paid no mind to it. Sam was more important.  
  
“You aren’t mad?” the little boy asked softly. His hot head (he always got a very hot and red face after crying), pushed against the crook of Dean’s neck. The little broken hunter shook his head.  
  
“No. It was a good thing you came with Castiel. Castiel is a friend.” He understood clearly what his little brother was asking him: Sam hadn’t listened to him this time around by going with Castiel, a stranger, even though Dean had told him not to. The angel blushed at the hunter’s words. He was sure that Gabriel would tease him about it, but the archangel said nothing. He just cocked his head a little to look at the humans before them. Samandriel and Balthazar stayed quiet too, clearly touched by the little moment the Winchester brothers were having.  
  
“Missed you,” the little boy whispered softly in Dean’s ear. The older Winchester wrapped his arms carefully around his younger brother.  
  
“I missed you too, buddy.” Not caring about the pain in his side or about the other strangers in the room. They had to be angels too, if they are Castiel’s brothers. Sam’s foot was still pressing onto the wound, but the hunter couldn’t care any less at the moment. Sam needed him right now. He needed to be assured that this wouldn’t happen again. “I’m so sorry, Sammy.” The little Winchester looked up at him.  
  
“Is okay. You’re feeling better now, Dee?” he asked him, softly. Dean faked a smile.  
  
“Yeah, now that you’re here, everything is much better.” The toddler laughed at that before he hugged his brother again. His little thumb in his mouth and his plush pressed carefully between him and Dean. Castiel smiled at the sight of them. Sam had clearly missed his older brother just as much as Dean had when he was panicking about him being left all alone in the store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it and hopefully till next time! (:


	9. Chapter 9.

                                                                     

 

Dean was starting to feel exhausted, but he really couldn’t show that to Sam now or could he? He was supposed to watch over Sam, not the other way around.  
  
“Luv you, Dean,” the little boy whispered softly in his ear, at which his heart jumped. Sam didn’t say things like that often and every time he said it to Dean, it felt so special and surreal like it wasn’t really meant for him. Like the little toddler had actually meant to say that to their dad, not to him.  
  
“I love you too, Sammy.” The hunter hugged his little brother a bit tighter. Not too tight, he didn’t want to hurt him, but tight enough to reassure the little boy that he wouldn’t lose him again. He wouldn’t let him out of his sight again. A shiver ran through Dean’s body when he thought about John’s reaction if he would hear about this. When they had gotten back from uncle Bobby’s and aunt Karen’s place, three year ago, Dean had gotten an earful where Sam could clearly hear them. The hitting had started as soon as Sam was off to bed and was fast asleep. John had never hit him that hard before. He almost puked when he had come to. The punch had knocked him unconscious. He didn’t know for how long, but he just prayed to God, or whoever was out there, that Sam hadn’t noticed it. The little hunter had been nauseated and dizzy for days after the accident. John had gone on another hunt straight after, saying that he couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as Dean. It had hurt the little boy a lot, but he deserved it. He should've never let Sam be on his own, not even for those five minutes. Those few minutes could’ve cost Sam his life.  
  
Castiel sensed that the human was getting upset, so he got closer to him and grabbed his hand. He didn’t need to say anything to offer comfort to the little broken boy, the touch was enough. Dean understood what it meant, or so it seemed to be, and that was most important.  
  
“What’s going on in here?” Their little moment was ruined when the nurse came into the hospital room. “You should rest, young man. No more than two people at a time!” She sounded very serious, even though she smiled a little when she saw Sam, lying in Dean’s arms.  
  
“Please, can Sam stay with me? He’s my little brother,” Dean asked softly, ignoring the look on the nurse’s face when she saw the blood soaking through the blanket. “The one that was left in the shopping centre when they came by ambulance to bring me here.” He was trying to guilt-trip her, seeing how she was the one to tell him that they were only there to help him, not his little brother. She swallowed thickly when she looked at Sam, clearly seeing now that the child before her was real and that Dean really wasn’t just babbling something, high on pain.  
  
“Alright then, but only him!” the nurse said while she ushered Balthazar, Gabriel and Samandriel out of the room. Castiel didn’t say anything, he just tightly held onto Dean's hand. He didn’t want to leave the human alone. He still looked like he was in pain and needed the support he would be able to offer him. “That includes you, young man.” The nurse laid her hand on Castiel’s shoulder, frightening the angel. It was then that the angel noticed the blood on Dean's bed. It was too late to heal him now, now that the human had seen it too.  
  
“Please, let me stay here too. I can hold Sam while you look at Dean’s wound. Please? I promise that I won’t be in your way and I will be very quiet!” the angel said, looking incredibly sad. The woman just sighed while she looked at the boy with the light blue eyes. He really did look so sad.  
  
“Alright then, but don’t tell the others that I let you.” The angel smiled brightly while he slowly let go of Dean’s hand to walk to the other side of the bed.  
  
“Sammy?” Dean was talking to his little brother, who slowly looked up at him. It looked like the toddler was almost asleep. “Cass here is going to hold you for now, okay? Just for a moment. Can you be a good boy and let Cass hold you for me?” The angel blushed at the new nickname Dean had given him, while the little Winchester nodded, agreeing to what his older brother asked of him. The angel slowly lifted the little human out of Dean’s arms. It only took a few seconds before Sam wrapped his arms around the angel's neck and rested his head against his shoulder.  
  
“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Dean smiled a little while Sam pulled Moose a bit closer to himself. Castiel smiled softly at Dean before he went to sit down, with Sam still in his arms. The nurse didn’t waste any time before she pushed Dean's blankets away and looked at the reopened wound.  
  
Castiel saw the pained look on Dean’s face when the nurse had removed the bandage around his side. The nurse was muttering something under her breath that the angel didn’t even bother to try and understand, but it looked liked the stitches were really messed up and Dean looked like he was in so much pain, now that he didn’t have to act all tough, now that Sam was sleeping in Castiel’s arms. The angel carefully took the hunter’s hand in his own and sent him a bit of grace, to ease the pain a little. Dean looked up at him and softly squeezed his hand, like he was saying ‘thank you’ to him.  
  
“I have to stitch you up again. I don’t know how it happened, but your stitches came undone. I know it’s very painful for you right now. That’s why I’m going to add more painkillers to your drip. This might make you sleepy, but I have to do this so I can help you get better.” The hunter looked scared for a moment, but all of his concerns seemed to fade away when he looked back at Castiel. The angel could feel the heat of his cheeks. Sure, the hunter didn’t say anything and he could’ve been looking at Sam for support, but it still warmed Castiel to the core to think that maybe he was the one to make the human feel so at ease with the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes actions speak louder than words. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it and hopefully till next time! (:


	10. Chapter 10.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines day! 
> 
> Picture credit: I have no idea who made this, sorry. I've seen it on weheartit and I loved it so that's why I wanted to share it here. If you know who the owner is, please let me know (:

                                                                                                       

 

Dean had been in the hospital for over a week. Uncle Bobby had been called and he had been taking care of Sam while Dean was hospitalised. He came to visit often, even though it was a two-hour drive to come to him. Castiel had been with the human more often than not. Dean seemed to like the company. He really hated being in the hospital, being so far away from Sam, not being able to care for him or comfort him. It had broken the older brother’s heart when uncle Bobby had come to pick his little brother up and the little boy had thrown a fit with the older man, crying and yelling that he wanted to stay with Dean. That Dean needed him to get better.  
  
This was the reason why Bobby didn’t bring Sam with him when he visited Dean, because the toddler would only fuss and cry and make Dean feel guilty for being in the hospital. It had been over a week and Dean still wasn’t feeling any better. He hardly slept at night. He kept worrying about Sam. He knew that he couldn’t be anywhere better than with uncle Bobby and aunt Karen, but still he wondered if his little brother was okay without him there. There were still all kinds of monsters in the dark and even though the little hunter knew that Sam was safe – he was with the greatest hunter after all – it still kept him awake at night. He was so glad that Sam didn’t know about those real monsters yet.  
  
Dean’s stitches had reopened at least three times and when uncle Bobby had taken a look, he had agreed that it looked pretty bad. On top of that, Dean had gotten a fever yet again. He honestly just wanted to go home and care for Sam again, but at this rate he would have to stay until his fever was gone and the stitches were healed up. Castiel hadn’t been able to do much because the nurses were constantly watching them and it made the angel feel uncomfortable, but he didn’t want to leave the human alone. He knew how much Dean needed him to be there; he was so lonely without Castiel by his side and as soon as he was alone, his mind would wander to dark places. Castiel hated to see his human like that, so he stayed by Dean’s side for as long as he could.  
  
When the door of Dean’s room flew open, Castiel had just left. His human vessel had a family too, and Castiel had things to do in heaven too, so the angel had left when Dean had fallen asleep. John Winchester was furious when he strutted into the hospital room.  
  
The bang had startled Dean from his sleep. He had been moved out of the more monitored room yesterday and he had been taken off the machines that beeped all the time, which had also kept him awake at night. The constant bleeping was annoying and kept him awake at night.  
  
“What are you doing here?! Why didn’t anyone call me?!” John was looking at his oldest son. Oh, how he had disappointed him, yet again. Dean didn’t say anything. He looked at the blanket instead. He could tell his dad the truth: that the nurses had tried to call him on multiple occasions, but that they just couldn’t reach him, but the little hunter knew that it was useless. John wouldn’t listen to him, not now. Not while he was this angry. He never listened to Dean when he was angry or drunk, which was most of the time.  
  
“It doesn’t matter anyway, I’m taking you home! Hurry up, I haven’t got all day!” At this Dean did look up. There was no way that he was already allowed to leave yet. He was shaking constantly because of his fever and he still had a drain in too.  
  
“But...” Before Dean could even begin to protest any further, his father figure started to talk again.  
  
“No Dean, this is an order. I need you to come with me now!” The old hunter grabbed his son’s hand and pulled the needle, that was connected to the IV drip, out of his skin. It hurt a lot and there was blood gushing out of him like there was no tomorrow. John just sighed and put a big butterfly patch on the wound. “Are you coming or do I need to carry you out?! For crying out loud, Dean, I don’t...” The hunter fell silent when he saw the drain that was still stuck in his son’s skin and it changed the look on the older man’s face.  
  
“It’s only temporary, right?” For the first time in years John was actually worried about his son. It made Dean feel uncomfortable. He didn’t know what to do with himself or where to leave his hands.  
  
“Y-Yeah, I-I think so.” Dean’s voice sounded small and weak; exactly how he felt. What good could he be now if he had to come with his father on a hunt? He would only slow him down like this and he was sure that his dad knew as soon as he had seen the drain. He was slowing him down. He was being _a burden_ to him.  
  
“Well, come on then!” John had grabbed his son’s clothes and pushed them in a bag. Dean hissed softly when he weakly got up. He had only been up to go to the bathroom before and the nurse had been watching him like a hawk when he did so. He felt like a baby deer when he took his first steps in his slippers without the infusion pole to lean on when he was feeling weaker. He had the drain in his hands when John wrapped a blanket around his son, slowly pushing him in front of him.  
  
Walking was painful, but Dean knew that if he went with his dad that he would get to see Sam and at the moment, that was the only thing that kept him going right now. There must’ve been something going on. Why did they have to leave so quickly? Was there something wrong with Sam?! Was there a dangerous monster on the loose or something?  
  
“Go get in the car. I will let you get changed when we get there,” was the only information Dean got from his father in his commander’s voice, before he opened the door of the car on the passenger’s side. He wanted to sit in the back, so he could stretch his legs and sleep a little more in the car, only to find a boy sitting there already and it wasn’t Sam who was sitting in Dean’s usual seat...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you already can guess who's there, but I hope you liked it anyway! 
> 
> Till next time! (:


	11. Chapter 11.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support so far. 
> 
> Enjoy the new chapter!

                                                                  

 

 

 

“Why aren’t you in the car yet?!” John asked while he closed the trunk. He had put Dean’s stuff in there, along with the weapons.  
  
“Someone is sitting in my seat,” was the boy’s shy reply. He hated to disappoint his dad, but there really was someone sitting in his seat! He wasn’t seeing things!  
  
“Well, go ride shotgun then!” John almost snarled at the boy. Dean closed the door again before shuffling to the front of the car to sit there instead. Normally, he would’ve liked it, because when he sat next to dad, it usually meant that he was in a good mood; that Dean was allowed to change the music (even though he didn’t), that he had more room to stretch his legs and it also was meant as a praise from his dad; something Dean didn’t get often. But this time around, it felt more like a punishment when he sat down and closed the car door. The position he was in made him whine in pain. His skin was pressing into his organs in all the wrong ways. Dean carefully placed the bag of the drain on his stomach while he closed his eyes. Sweat was dripping off his forehead and he could feel his heart beating loudly in his ears. He was already tired and he hadn’t even walked that far.  
  
“Lay it flat, it will help,” was all John said before he started the car and drove off. His father didn’t tell him who the strange sleeping kid in the back of the car was and even though Dean felt weird about it, he also didn’t want to know about it. He had a very bad feeling about this. The kid was sleeping in a way that told the little hunter that this wasn’t the first time that he had slept there. Dean knew the signs. It frustrated him, how familiar it all seemed, but he kept quiet about it, letting his seat go down before he wrapped his blanket better around himself.  
  
  
  
Dean didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, but apparently he had. He slowly looked up to see that they were driving up uncle Bobby’s driveway. The older hunter stood outside already, waiting for them. Would John have called ahead, to let him and auntie Karen know that they were coming? It was so out of character though, that Dean dismissed the idea straight away. No, that couldn’t be it. The little hunter didn’t really think about it any further, while John parked the car very close to the house. Uncle Bobby opened up the door before the little hunter could.  
  
“Hi there, Dean. How are you feeling, buddy?” the older hunter asked while he looked at the child.  
  
“I’m fine.” It was the standard answer that the little hunter gave him, trying to stay tough, clearly holding up a façade. He always did that, especially when he had spent time with John Winchester. The man was no good to him, didn’t set any good example to follow for the kid, but yet, Dean seemed to worship his father more than anyone. It angered the older hunter from time to time. Dean was drilled to be a good little soldier, to obey orders, any orders that John gave him, and that thought alone sent shivers down Bobby’s spine. He feared for Dean’s wellbeing. Sure, the kid took great care of his little brother, but he didn’t really care about himself and that worried Bobby a bit.  
  
“Are you, really?” Before Dean could even blink, John was already out of the car.  
  
“The kid said that he’s fine, so he’s fine. Stop asking questions! What are you, the fucking police?!” John was losing his patience. Not that he had much to begin with, but he was starting to lose it. Especially after the day he had had today.  
  
“Yeah well, I don’t believe it! The hospital called me. They told me a lunatic came in and took Dean with him!” Bobby hissed before he scooped Dean into his arms. The little boy wrapped his good arm tightly around his uncle’s neck, while the other rested on his stomach. He was still tired and there was blood on his hands and stomach. The butterfly plaster had come off and it was a fucking mess. “Karen, I need your help!” Bobby yelled as soon as he stepped into the house, with John close on his heels.  
  
“Not sure if you noticed, John, but the kid still has a fucking drain in his body!” Bobby was furious while he carefully laid the child on the empty kitchen table. “They are supposed to take that out when he’s ready to go home, and I'm not sure if you noticed, but an I.V. drip isn’t suppose to be ripped out either!” The hunter grunted. Luckily, Bobby had seen worse than this. When he was in the military, he was a doctor, so he had seen many wounds and blown-off body parts. Actually, that’s where he had met Karen. She had been a nurse at the time.  
  
“Well, he wanted to come with me,” was John’s comment to it. He did look ashamed for the first time ever while he looked at his son. Bobby didn’t comment on it. Meanwhile, Karen walked into the room. She looked like a fucking professional: a whole kit with all kinds of instruments with her, like she had expected something like this. She probably had. She never really liked John Winchester, never listened to his orders either, which made the feeling mutual for John. He never really liked her either. Karen Singer had always liked Dean and Sam though, but especially Dean. The little boy was always so good and brave and yet he always seemed to get into these kind of situations; situations where he had no control over anything and got hurt in the process. Most of the time, he hadn’t even done anything wrong. He was just a kid after all, but he acted so much like a grown-up. She sighed when she looked at the boy in front of her, all bloodied and hurt, yet again.  
  
“It’s going to be alright, dear.” She lovingly squeezed Dean’s leg before she grabbed Dean’s wounded arm and looked at the bigger, gaping wound. “I need to be stitching this though.” But that was all Dean heard before he passed out due to the blood loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Till next time.


	12. Chapter 12.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! (:

                                                                   

 

When Dean woke up again, he was feeling very groggy and lightheaded. There was a throbbing pain in his head, which only seemed to get worse when he opened his eyes, so he just closed them again while he breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth. His side and stomach were hurting and itching and he wasn’t very comfortable. The little hunter was feeling a bit sticky too, from the sweat that dripped over his body. He groaned softly while he got himself to sit upright. His right side was hurting a lot, protesting against the movement. Dean sighed while he opened his eyes and looked around the strange room he was in. He had no idea where he was or what was going on. He did notice that his hand was wrapped up in bandages and there wasn’t a drain in his side any more, which made him feel a little bit better.  
  
The hurt boy pushed the blankets off of him and slowly stood up. He felt like a fawn, standing on wobbly feet. He groaned softly while he took a few unsure steps, not trusting his own body to hold his weight. Just when he wanted to take his third step, his legs gave out and he fell, hard, on to the floor. The hunter groaned softly while his delicate side hit the floor hard. He could already feel the bruised skin there. He just needed a shower. Was that really too much to ask? Dean sighed while he tried to get up. It took him a little while, but he got upright again. Honestly, why was it all so hard to do now? Normally he could do it without even giving it a second thought and he could easily take Sam with him in the progress. Wait, where was Sam?! Did something happen to him? Dean closed his eyes and when he reopened them, he finally noticed the noise that was coming from the other room.  
  
“Hush now Sam, Dean is trying to sleep. You can play when he’s feeling better, okay?” It was John’s voice. He sounded a bit softer than he normally would. It sounded a bit odd, but Dean was grateful for it. He loved Sam to death, but he was sure that he wouldn’t even be capable to lift his younger brother up. It pained him to think that he was letting Sam down, by not seeing him, not taking care of him, like he usually would. With newfound determination, the hunter walked towards the attached bathroom.  
  
It was a bit slower than how he would usually walk, but it was okay. The hunter wasn’t too pleased with what he saw in the bathroom mirror. He was looking pale, even to his own eyes. He was still sweating and he had dark circles underneath his eyes. He looked like a fucking ghost, an extra for some freaking horror movie or something! No, he couldn’t let Sam see him like that. He would be scared to death if he saw him like this!  
  
Suddenly there was a chilling wind, and Dean could hear someone walking into the room, which caused Dean to turn around, only to see Castiel there, in his human vessel. The hunter tried to smile, he really did, but he felt and looked like crap, so he just knew that it didn’t come across.  
  
“Dean, how are you feeling?” the angel asked softly while he walked towards the injured hunter, careful not to startle him.  
  
“What happened, Cass? I know that dad came to pick me up, but I can’t remember what happened after that,” the human admitted softly while he looked at the angel. He really wanted to see him. He had wondered how Castiel was doing when he got out of the hospital.  
  
“I’ve been trying to find you for a while now, Dean! Your father just took you from the hospital while you weren’t ready to be released yet. You still have wounds and you’re weak because of blood loss. Please, let me heal you. You look so ill, it would make Death jealous!” It did sting a little that Castiel was so right about that. He did look terribly ill and he felt like crap too.  
  
“Yes, you can. But how did you find me, Cass?” the little human asked while Castiel placed his hand against Dean’s sticky and heated forehead. A light came out of his hand. It was so bright that the little hunter had to close his eyes in order not to get blinded by it.  
  
“I’m an angel of the Lord. I will always find you, Dean Winchester.” Dean could already see the bright smile on Castiel’s face, even though his eyes were closed. He loved that about Castiel, how he could always see the best in everyone and every situation. The human felt better instantly. He even felt better than he had felt in ages, to be completely honest.  
  
“Dean, what’s going on in here? Are you playing with the lights?” The noise made the hunter look up, only to see that Castiel had disappeared again. The door opened and John stepped into the room.  
  
“Are you feeling better now?” Dean almost felt like he was dreaming. His dad was worried about him. He was never worried about him before.  
  
“I’m alright, dad. Where’s Sam?” the smaller hunter asked, while he walked out of the bathroom. He didn’t feel sticky anymore either, like Castiel had just “poof’ed” his illness and sweat away.  
  
“He’s waiting in the other room,” the older hunter answered while he looked at his son. He did look better than when they got into the room. He watched his oldest son carefully while the boy walked into the other room that was attached to the bedroom. You see that, Bobby Singer?! Ha, his son was way tougher than that old rusty old-timer and that hag that he called his wife thought! Dean Winchester dying from a little blood loss?! As if! His boy was as tough as nails! As if they could kill a Winchester that easily!  
  
“Deeee!” Dean was greeted by the happy shout of his younger brother, followed by a hug. “Dee! Dee! Look at my new friend!” The older Winchester frowned when he heard what his younger sibling said. Yes, he was happy to see him too, but did he hear that other part right? Sammy had a friend? A stranger in their (for once) deluxe hotel room? Something sounded off about that. He followed his younger brother who was excitedly dragging him towards the stranger that was sitting in front of the television, watching some cartoon that Dean couldn’t care less about. It was the strange boy that had been sitting in Dean’s seat before. The hunter turned around, determined to finally hear who this stranger was and why he was in their (temporary) home. He had a bad feeling in his belly when he looked his father in the eye and finally asked him the question that had been burning on his tongue from the first time he met the strange kid.  
  
“Who is this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess who this boy is? (I bet you can, haha). 
> 
> For those who would like to know: I'm working on a new Destiel story. (And I have three new plots after that one) ^^  
> Oh and fun fact! The working title for this story (in the early stages) was: "Sleepless". But I liked this title better.


	13. Chapter 13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! 
> 
> Okay, so I just realised that I forgot to mention that there is in fact a spoiler in this story. Mostly in this chapter. This could be a spoiler if you haven't watched season 4/5 yet. (I don't remember the correct season on top of my head because I had a Supernatural marathon, aka I watched lots of episodes after each other so yeah). 
> 
> Also: The picture isn't mine. Is it yours or do you know who made it? Please let me know so I can give credits (: Thank you! 
> 
> And the boy is .... (Let's just read and find out :3) Enjoy the chapter!

                                             

 

“Who is this?” The question had been burning on Dean’s tongue from the moment he had met the strange kid. He had an odd feeling about him when he looked at him. The kid didn’t look familiar to Dean at all, but those eyes... That were the eyes of his dad, no doubt about it.

 

“This is Adam.” John answered while he looked his son straight into the eye. He had never seen Dean so... unlike himself before. “Adam Milligan.”  Dean looked back at the kid that was sitting on the floor, looking at the television that was on, playing some cartoon the oldest Winchester brother couldn’t care less about. He looked like he was about six years old.

 

“What is he doing here?” Dean couldn’t help but feel on the fence about it. Dean was never allowed to bring friends over, not that he had any to begin with because of their life style, but still. Sam had not even started school yet, so really, he couldn’t even have any friends. So who was this boy that was sitting so casually in their living room?

 

“He just lost his mom, Dean.” His father talked to him in a tone of voice that told him that he was already at his limit. Dean frowned at that. Since when had they become a foster home?! Yes, sure, losing their mom had been hard, it was still hard, they never talked about her anymore. It was like she never existed, like Dean had made her up in his own mind or something. Talking about mom had only ever given him pain, because John would react to questions with his fists, so Dean just stopped asking. Stopped talking about her all together, it was safer that way, safer for Sam. So no, the young hunter really couldn’t sympathise with the younger kid. Sure it must suck, but he must have a dad too, right?! The dad should take care of him, it wasn’t like they didn't already have enough on their own plate.

 

“So... is he staying here or what? What is he doing here?” Sam was happily playing with some building blocks, not noticing what was going on. Dean was glad that he didn’t notice it. There would be enough times in the future where he would notice what was going on and to be honest Dean wasn’t really looking forward to that.

“He’s staying here, yes.” The older hunter was talking a sip of his alcoholic drink before he answered.

 

“Why? Shouldn’t he go stay with his family?” Dean crossed his arms while he said it. Honestly he was busy enough as it was with just Sam and now his dad wanted to pawn off a strangers kid to him too?! Like hell that would happen! He could handle Sam perfectly fine on his own and he honestly didn’t mind watching Sam, but Sam was family, it was natural that he watched his younger sibling, but a strangers' kids? No, that was a step too far for Dean.

 

“He already is.” Was the answer Dean was getting, but it wasn’t the one that Dean wanted to hear. He must have misheard it, because this couldn’t be true! This couldn’t be true at all!

 

“What?!” He wanted to know for sure though. He must have misheard it, right? This little kid, that was clearly older than Sam was, couldn’t be family of him.

 

“I am his father Dean. Adam is your brother.” It felt like the earth was crumbling underneath him. No! No, this wasn’t true! It couldn’t be!  Suddenly it felt like his veins were on fire, the anger that rushed through the little boy was indescribable. It had suddenly hit him; it could be true. When Dean was four years old, his parents had been in a huge fight. He could remember the cries of his mother and the tears that had rolled over her cheeks while Dean had hugged her and told her that everything would be ‘alwight’. She had smiled at him then and hugged him tightly back. John hadn’t come home for a whole week. He had never seen his parents fighting like that before, but after the week of absence everything went back to normal. So the bastard had cheated on his mother?! Dean was very pissed off. That bastard, that dared to call himself his father, had betrayed his mother, betrayed Sam and him! And he wanted to keep his bastard kid, here?! With Sam? He really wanted them to act like one big happy family?!

 

He only got more angry when he saw that Sam had bumped his head slightly to the table while he crawled underneath it to get some toy that had rolled under it. His little brother was crying loudly while he crawled back towards the television, where Adam was still sitting. The little boy looked up at the noise and stoop up to walk towards Sam, his hand reaching towards Sam.

 

“Don’t touch him!” Dean’s voice sounded angry, but he wasn’t angry. No he was fucking furious! How dared that kid touch Sam so carelessly like he was somehow allowed to. It made the hunter see red.

“Cut it out Dean! He just wanted to...” His father’s voice came through, making the boy feel even more betrayed.

“I don’t care what he wanted to do! He is not my brother and he will never be either!” He pushed Sam behind him. “And I don’t want him near Sammy! He’s nothing to us!” Dean really hated how he sounded like his deadbeat dad, but at least he had finally let out how he felt about the situation. John didn’t like his reaction though. Before Dean even knew it, his father hit him, yet again, in the face. His cheek was burning and he was almost sure that his so called father figure’s handprint was visible on his cheek, but he honestly didn’t even care about that. He was too angry to even think about it. The only thing that was on his mind right now, was that Sam wasn’t safe here.

 

“You will apologise to your brother and you will do so, right now!” John’s command came, but Dean really wanted to ignore it. He looked at the strange little boy, who’s lip was wobbling and trembling, he would start crying soon, but he honestly didn’t care about the boy. Who said that his mother hadn’t been jealous of their mom?! Maybe this ‘Adam,’ guy was really the reason why Deans mother got killed. So he turned to Sam instead.

 

“I’m sorry Sammy.” He said softly before he picked his little brother up and kissed his forehead. “Let’s get you some ice-cream, what do you think of that?” He asked him while he gave him his beloved Moose toy and his blanket before he headed to the door. Sam sniffled and pressed his head into the crook of Dean’s neck, clearly still very upset about what just had happened. The young hunter grabbed his knife and gun before he opened the front door and walked out of the hotel room, leaving his “father” and the strange kid behind. He tucked his weapons away in his jeans, before he hosted his brother better in his arms and walked further away from the hotel room.

 

“Dee, you hurt?” Sam asked him softly while Dean carried him towards the parking lot.

 

“It’s fine Sammy, are you okay?” He asked his little brother while he looked worried at him. He didn’t hear the bump Sam made, but the thought that his brother was hurt made his skin crawl. Sam looked up at him then, the tears still shimmering in his eyes while he shook his head, no. Had he been crying because he was scared then? Because Dean was close to shouting? The hunter could feel how his little brother placed his small hand on Dean’s cheek, the one that had been slapped, he wanted to hiss at the slight pressure that was put on his skin and move away from the touch, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t show Sam in how much pain he really was.

 

“You hurt Dee?” Sam asked again, softly this time around, like he was telling him that he knew when Dean was lying to him anyway. Dean looked down, to his feet. There was a crowbar lying there and the oldest Winchester really wanted to ram the thing through the window of the Impala, but he didn’t do it. He couldn’t, not with Sam in his arms. He couldn’t risk getting Sam hurt by the glass that would fly around if he did that. He was still angry, but he couldn’t let Sammy know that, so he just put a smile on.

 

“I’m fine, Sammy,” he whispered while he brushed the hairs out of Sam’s face. The lie rolled easily off his lips and he almost believed it too. “Let’s get going, before they close the ice-cream shop!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe it was Season 5, episode 16 in which we see Dean wearing a "I wuv hugz" T-shirt and we can see his memories. While they are doing that, Dean says to Sam "I remember this", when their mom was crying and Dean went to hug her. (We don't see Sam in it). When I saw this I had a feeling that this was the moment that John cheated on Mary. (I know this isn't how the story line goes, since Adam is younger then Sam in the tv-series, but I really felt so much dislike and hate for John when I was watching this)... -I also felt a little bit anger towards Sam when we saw some of his memories, supposedly some of the best of his life and most of them are without Dean, while Sam is Dean's whole world (most of Dean's best memories include Sam). It broke my heart to see this actually....-


	14. Chapter 14.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I'm back!
> 
> Sorry for the late update, but I have been a bit under the weather. (Sick, problems with my knee, I have a piece of my bone that doesn't belong there drifting in my knee...)...  
> \---------
> 
> A little refresher: Dean finally snapped when he heard that Adam was his (half)brother. He ran away from home with Sammy. 
> 
> WARNING: This chapter could be a little triggering, because this includes attempted child molesting. Please be careful if this triggers you. Don't intent to hurt anyone with this story, so please be careful!

 

                                                                     

 

 

It was already dark when Dean finally walked into the next state called “Nebraska”. The hunter hoped that he had walked away far enough. Maybe if he could walk through the night, he could walk even further away from his abusive father. The boy shook his head while the wind started to blow harder. Oh, who was he kidding? He would never be able to outrun his father. The bastard was travelling by car while Dean was on foot and he was carrying a sleeping toddler in his arms. After they went for the ice cream Dean had promised his little brother, he just walked away into a total different direction then that of their hotel room. Sam had fallen asleep like that, in Dean’s arms, while Dean had wrapped his leather jacket around his little sibling to protect him from the strong wind.  
  
The hunter sighed softly when he felt the first raindrops on his skin. Of course, it had to start raining on top of everything else. No, Dean couldn’t outrun John Winchester forever, but he would’ve liked a little head start. But he couldn’t keep going all night, especially not with Sammy in his arms. No, he had to find a place to stay in tonight, to give Sam the rest he needed. But where should he go? Dean didn’t know the place very well, had never really been here before, at least not that he could remember.  
  
  
  
  
Dean was shivering and the wind was getting even stronger. Still, there was no building in sight and the little hunter was getting tired. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to run away from ‘home’, if you could call hopping from hotel room to hotel room a home anyway. Maybe this was God’s way of punishing him for it, for disobeying his father’s orders. Well, it might have been true that Dean deserved some punishment for his behaviour, but Sam did not! He was just a little kid that, unluckily, got stuck with Dean as an older brother. Just as Dean was about to give up, to give in to his tired legs and just stop going, he saw a car approaching. The car stopped almost beside the two boys.  
  
“Are you here all alone?” a creepy voice asked, to which Dean looked up. The car window was rolled down and the smell of booze and cigarettes hit him before he could even blink his eyes. For the first time ever, Dean didn’t know what to say to this stranger. Yes, he was alone, but going with this strange man? No way he would do that! What if he wanted to do something to Sam?! He had just walked all those miles to protect Sam from all of that! But on the other hand; what other choice did he have? It was pouring right now and Dean was already soaked to the bone. The strong wind sent shivers down his spine every time he moved. He didn’t want anything bad happening to Sam. He wanted to protect him from their abusive father, make sure that his little brother wouldn’t get hit by him, but everything he seemed to do was never good enough. He was never good enough. Maybe Sam would be better off with an older brother like Adam...  
  
“N-no. My dad is over there.” Yes, Dean was tired and he would’ve liked a ride into the city or to some kind of motel or hotel, but this was just fishy. He wasn’t that far gone to fall for those tricks! They could be kidnappers for all he knew! And the fact that the man reeked of alcohol, the very substance that turned his own father into an abusive shit, didn't help much either.  
  
“I don’t see him, kid. What’s your name?” The man’s voice asked, before he stopped the car completely. And that was the moment that Dean knew that he was fucked. He could try and run, but what if he tripped and hurt Sam in the process?  
  
“None of your business, that’s what it is!” The hunter was feeling obnoxious. Fuck, he really had to go and run away, hadn't he?! He had to bring Sam in danger in order to see how fucked up his ideas were, didn’t he?! Dean panicked when he saw how the man opened the door of his car and started to run. He didn’t care how tired he was, he had to bring Sam to safety. He had to protect him from the person that was coming after them. It had stopped raining now, but the path Dean was on, was very slippery because of the weather.  
  
“Wait, kid! I didn’t even get your name yet!” The man was running after them and it didn’t take long before Dean felt how the person grabbed him by his upper arm and forced him to turn around. “Well, well, looks like you are a pretty feisty young thing, aren’t you?” The horrible-looking man was smiling brightly at him while his eyes roamed shamelessly over his body. Dean wanted to disappear, wake up from this horrible nightmare he was in.  
  
“You stay away from me!” Dean really wanted to grab his knife and stab the stranger with it, but it was in his other pocket and he still had a sleeping Sam in his arms. He wanted to kick the stranger in front of him, so he would lose his grip on Dean, but the man was clever and grabbed Dean's leg with his free hand, half way through the air.  
  
“That trick isn’t going to work, sweetheart.” The word sent shivers down the hunter's spine. “You really want to make me work for it, don’t you?” The man kicked against Dean's kneecap, causing him to fall backwards. Damn it, that hurt, but the pain he felt when he landed on his back was worse, like there was a big pointy rock pressing into his skin, making him bleed.  
  
“Get the fuck off of me!” Dean screamed while he tried to kick the attacker again. The noise woke Sam up.  
  
“Dee?” The toddler started to move around, freeing himself from Dean’s grip. The hunter let go off him. Maybe if Dean was clever enough, Sam would be saved!  
  
“Go hide, Sammy!” the hunter was able to let out, while he watched how his baby brother nodded and ran away from them.  
  
“So you brought dessert with you, how thoughtful!” The attacker wanted to move on top of him while Dean reached for his knife, but the man was pretty quick for his age, overpowering him and throwing away his weapon. Dean tried to reach for his gun, but the man pressed his knee into Deans leg. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He leaned over to whisper the words in his ear, his lips touching his earlobe. Deans eyes widened when it happened and suddenly it hit him like a truck; this man wasn’t after money and he wasn't trying to rob him, he wanted to molest him and he could even go after Sammy too! The thought alone made the hunter see red, yet again. He wrapped both his arms around the stranger's neck and squeezed as hard as he could, trying to choke the attacker.  
  
“Dean!” The hunter looked up when he saw Castiel appear behind the stranger. He was not in his usual vessel but he knew those eyes anywhere.  
  
“C-Cass!” The angel placed his hand on the attacker, making his face light up right before his eyes burned out of his skull and his body felt down on top of Dean's, like he was nothing more than a mere sack of potatoes.  
  
“Are you alright?!” the angel asked, worried, while he helped the human up.  
  
“I’m... have you see Sammy?” Dean asked, feeling a bit light-headed. This hadn't really happened, had it? It had to be a nightmare, this couldn't be real, at all.  
  
“Sam!” The toddler looked up when his name was called out. He had hidden himself behind a large tree. Dean had told him to run, but he was still feeling sleepy. He did wonder if he had hidden himself so well, that Dean couldn’t even find him! Sam liked it when Dean played with him, especially if it was a game like Hide and Seek. It was Sam’s favourite outdoor game.  
  
“Dee!” The toddler answered happily while he walked back towards his older brother and his friend.  
  
“Oh, thank God you’re alright!” Dean kneeled before his brother before he took him in his arms and gave him a bone-crushing hug. The tears streamed down his face, which confused Sam. Why was Dean so sad? Was he angry with him?  
  
“Dee, angry?” the toddler asked softly.  
  
“No Sammy, I’m not angry. I’m just so glad that you are alright,” the wounded human said softly.  
  
“Let’s get you both to safety,” Castiel said softly, while he grabbed Dean tightly by the shoulder, teleporting them away from the horrible child molester, that lay death on the side of the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not everyone who drinks and/or smokes is "a bad person", but the creep in this story is. Please don't hate me for it.


	15. Chapter 15.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened last time?   
> Sam and Dean barely escaped a child molester, thanks to Castiel, who came to the rescue.

                                                                       
  


They landed somewhere. Before Dean could even look around to see where they were, he started the puke. His stomach clearly couldn’t stand being transported the way they did. Sam, on the other hand, was laughing and asking Castiel to do it again.  
  
Dean carefully looked up, after his stomach stopped protesting against it all, and saw that they had landed in front of a Roadhouse. Dean recognised it instantly; his dad talked about a place like this all the time. That it was a really nice place for hunters from all around to hang out. It wouldn't have been save to go to uncle Bobby's house; John would've found them straight away and Dean really wasn't ready for that.   
  
“Are you alright, Dean?” Castiel sounded worried while he looked at the human. He was shaking and looked very pale. Sam, on the other hand, only looked like he had just experienced a little bit of fun in the rain, while Dean looked like he had gone for a swim with his clothes still on.  
  
“I’m okay,” the human muttered while they walked towards the entrance of the roadhouse. Dean doubted they could get in; Sam was barely five and he was still ten, almost eleven. Dean still hadn’t had this wonderful growth spurt everyone was talking about, he was still just a small kid. Easily spotted as a kid too. What if they couldn’t stay the night? Dean only noticed it really now, but Castiel was ‘wearing’ another vessel this time around. Why wasn’t he startled then when he saw him before? Hadn’t he noticed that Castiel was taller than him now? He looked like he was about seventeen years old, with brown hair and blue eyes. The bluest eyes Dean had ever seen. Maybe that’s why Dean didn’t even flinch when he saw Castiel in his new form, because of his eyes. It was like he could see right through them... They felt so familiar and safe that Dean hadn’t even thought about fighting this man off, because he just knew that it was Castiel...  
  
“Dee? I'm hungry.” Sam was tugging softly at Dean’s soaked jeans. He had been holding on to him like that after Dean had put him down when he started to puke. The older Winchester smiled softly at his little brother. He didn’t even want to think about food at the moment; his stomach was still making flips after their little trip, but he could understand that Sam wanted to eat something. They only had ice-cream before, not really a healthy meal for a five year old.  
  
“I will ask if they have something, if we can stay,” the young hunter answered while he went through Sam’s hair, petting him slightly while he carefully ushered his little brother inside. It was a lot warmer inside, at least it felt like that to Dean. Castiel walked in behind the two Winchesters and looked at the oldest human, who walked straight towards the bar. He didn’t even look at the other people inside. He didn’t care much about them or he could’ve been too ashamed to look at them. Castiel didn’t really know what it was, but Dean Winchester was very fascinating to him. The angel couldn’t really say what it was, but the human had something different about him. His intentions were so pure and most of the things he did were for Sam, not for himself. It fascinated the angel, intrigued him, to learn more about the human. He had, in all those years he had lived, never seen a human like this before. It was special to say the least. The angel saw who the human was talking to, the woman who was standing behind bar, frowning when she looked at the soaked kid.  
  
“I’m sorry, kid, but I can’t let you stay,” the woman said while she looked pitiful at the children in front of her. She really wanted to help them out, especially since the oldest boy looked about the same age as her own daughter, Jo, but if she let two unsupervised children in the roadhouse, she could lose her license. Especially if someone couldn’t keep their mouth shut about it.  
  
“They are with me.” Castiel stepped in and laid his hand on top of Dean’s shoulder. The angel noticed now that the little human was bleeding there. He tried to keep his face neutral so he wouldn’t give that fact away. “These are my little brothers.” Dean nodded to confirm this, hoping it would be enough to convince the woman to let them stay.  
  
“Alright, you can have room number 6,” the woman sighed. They didn’t look much alike, but the kids could’ve been adopted or maybe they had a different father or mother. She didn’t want to pry much into their lives. She would’ve hated it if people would do that to her. She took the key of the room and handed them to the oldest of the three. “Enjoy your stay.”  
  
“I wanted to ask, is it possible to eat something?” The woman, named Ellen, turned towards the clock that was hanging there. It was already pretty late, close to half past eleven, and they had closed the kitchen around ten, but she saw how hopeful the youngest kid looked and she found herself unable to resist the puppy-eyes the child was giving her.  
  
“Yes, you can. Just let me know what you would like after you’ve settled down.” The middle child looked like he would get a fever if he would stay in those soaked clothes any longer.  
  
“Thank you.” The oldest child smiled widely before carefully instructing his little brothers towards their room.  
  


  
“You really should strip out of these wet clothes, Dean,” Castiel said while he saw how the oldest Winchester brother wrapped a towel around his brother.  
  
“But Sammy could catch a cold!” was the answer the angel got back. He sighed before he placed his hand on top of Sam’s forehead. Within seconds the toddler was completely dry and mud-free. Sam smiled at that.  
  
“Come on, Dean, remove your shirt. I will heal your back.” The human was biting his lip.  
  
“Could you watch Sammy while I take a shower?” Dean asked softly while he walked towards Castiel. The angel dried him with a simple touch before turning his attention to the huge wound on the hunters back. The angel carefully touched the wound there, making the human shiver under the touch. The angel carefully healed the wound, sending some of his grace into the human. “Thank you, Cass.” Dean was blushing when he turned around. Before the angel knew what was going on, the human wrapped his arms around his neck and hugged him.  
  
“Thank you, for all your help, Cass.” The hunter whispered sincerely. He didn’t know what he would’ve done without the angel. He didn’t even want to think about what could’ve happened without Castiel there.  
  
“Huggies!” Sam screamed happily before he jumped in on the hug, wrapping his tiny little arms around the angel's legs. Castiel hadn’t expected that, the sudden outburst of affection, but he carefully wrapped an arm around Dean’s waist, hugging him back. With his other arm he carefully went through the hunter's hair. Caressing through it with his fingers, while Dean hid his face in Castiel’s shirt, while he pressed his face against his stomach. Suddenly there were tears flowing out of his eyes and Castiel couldn't do anything else but press the boy closer to him while he cried.  
  
“Everything will be alright,” the angel whispered softly, while he listened to the heartbreaking sobs of his human friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. 
> 
> Till next time! (:


	16. Chapter 16.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love that you continue to show for this story. Thank you for all the kudo's and the kind reactions.

                                                           

 

Dean was feeling happy and, for the very first time in years, he was feeling safe. The little hunter was lying on his side on the big bed that stood in the rented room. Sam was fast asleep in the crib that they had put up and Castiel was lying next to Dean in the same bed. The human had felt so weak, small and vulnerable that he had asked the angel to sleep beside him in the bed. Even though the angel didn’t need sleep, he still accepted the offer. Dean wanted comfort and that was what Castiel was giving him.  
  
_After their hug, Dean had gone to the bathroom to have a shower. Even though Castiel had healed and dried him, he still felt dirty. The angel had promised to watch Sam, so the toddler could eat and Dean could shower in peace. That’s what Dean did; he took a hot shower and was surprised to see that, when he got back into the room, his little sibling was already sleeping soundly. Castiel had even managed to get him some sleepwear too. Dean’s own pyjama’s were there too; as a matter of fact, Dean’s duffle bag was there. Had the angel been gone for a few seconds to go and get it? The little hunter hadn’t asked, he had just taken his clean boxers and pyjama’s to the bathroom and dressed himself._  
  
_“I got you some food too,” was the first thing the angel had said when Dean had come back from the bathroom. It startled Dean a little bit. He hadn’t expected that, he was just worried about Sam._  
  
_“Thank you. You didn’t need to do that, but thank you.” Dean had never really experienced that before... Well, after his mom had died, no one had ever offered him food anymore, he had to take care of it himself._  
  
_“You should take good care of yourself too, Dean.” The angel looked at him while he handed him the burger. It looked so good that his stomach started to growl. Dean could feel the blush creeping up his cheeks. He hadn’t felt so ashamed in just one day as he did today. “You’re a great brother, but you really need to watch out for yourself too.” Castiel was staring at him, while Dean carefully sat down on the huge bed in the room. Not knowing what to say to that, he just took a bite of the burger, which was surprisingly still warm. Had Castiel kept it like that, especially for Dean? It made the hunter feel all warm inside._  
  
They ended up going to bed soon after, and that’s when Dean was suddenly lying here, in the middle of the night, his face pressed into the angels torso. Had he really moved like this in his sleep? Didn’t Castiel mind this? Would he still be there when Dean woke up again? The hunter sighed softly while he closed his eyes again. He shouldn’t worry so much and just go back to sleep. If Castiel would be gone in the morning, it would have a reason; he would be needed in Heaven, or something like that, if that was the case. Castiel was an important angel after all, at least Dean thought he was.  
  
  
  
“Oh, he’s so small!” Dean was awakened by the sound of a female voice. Alarmed, he opened his eyes, only to see a girl about his age, standing over Sam’s crib, with Castiel beside her. She was smiling brightly while she looked at his younger brother.  
  
“Cass?” The angel turned slightly to look at the tired human. Yes, Dean had slept for about eight hours, but he still felt sleepy. He sat up and looked around, a bit disorientated. The girl looked up at him too, only to blush. She had to admit that the boy, who had clearly just awoken, looked very handsome.  
  
“It’s alright, Dean. We’re in the Roadhouse, do you remember?” Castiel asked while he looked at the human. He wanted to help the human. To wipe the awful memories away, but the angel couldn’t. He wanted to do so badly, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. What if he removed good memories too? Memories of his mother or brother? What if he forgot all the important things because of what Castiel wanted to do? What if the human would hate him, or worse: forget all about him? It might have been selfish, but the angel just couldn’t do it in the end.  
  
“Oh yes, that’s right. The roadhouse,” Dean nodded while he got out of the bed. “I’m Dean,” the hunter said while he held his hand out to the girl. She smiled brightly at him while she held his hand in hers.  
  
“I’m Joanna Harvelle, but everyone calls me Jo.” Dean wasn’t really sure what to think of her. Yes, she seemed nice and she sure looked cute with her hair in pigtails and her brown doe-eyes, but Dean wasn’t really sure if he could trust her. How did she even get in here? Did she wander around in the guest rooms or had she just been in here by mistake?  
  
“It’s nice to meet you, Jo,” the human said softly, trying to be polite. He let go of her hand and looked at Sam, who was colouring in a colouring book. “This is Sam, my little brother.” The hunter smiled while he introduced his little brother to the girl, who had been looking at him before with Castiel.  
  
“He looks very sweet,” Jo said while she looked at the three boys in front of her. Jo had always been a little curious, especially about new guests. But these boys were very interesting. They had the names of the sons of her uncle John. But as far as Jo knew, uncle John only had two sons, not three. Maybe it wasn’t them then? “Are you the sons of uncle John then?” Dean turned red at the question. So this really was the Roadhouse that his dad always talked about. “Are you the Winchester boys?” The girl pressed on, before turning to look at Castiel. “But who are you then? I know about Sam and Dean Winchester, but I haven’t heard about ‘Cass’ before.” Jo was frowning when she looked at them.  
  
“Cass is my cousin,” Dean said quickly, an answer that seemed to please the girl, because she was smiling brightly at him then.  
  
“That explains it! Wait till I tell mom and dad about this!” She was out of the room before Dean could even try to stop her. Fuck, why had he just said that?! If she told her parents who they were, they would call his dad and if his dad knew that Sam and he were here, he would come to pick them up. The human shivered at the thought alone. He knew for sure that if John found them, he might not survive the beating that he would get for it. Especially since he took Sam with him, put him in ‘unnecessary danger’. He could already feel the hate he would surely get.  
  
“I can just erase her memory of what just happened,” Castiel said helpfully while he saw the distressed face of Dean. The angel sensed that the hunter was scared to death. Was it because of what the girl said? Because she knew their father? The angel wasn’t really sure what it was, but he was determined to make it right. Dean shouldn’t be so scared. He needed time to heal from what happened yesterday. Dean needed to rest up and think about himself for once. With that in mind, the angel went after the girl, leaving Sam and Dean alone in rented room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think that Jo had indeed her hair in two pigtails when she was younger.


	17. Chapter 17.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter!

 

                                                                     

 

Dean was running, his gun had been kicked out of his hands when he tried to shoot the monster and before he knew it, the unknown beast was going after Sam. The hunter was running after the fur-covered monster, yelling at Sam to stay where he was, in the salt circle.  
  
Dean Winchester was seventeen years old now. He had accepted his fate as a hunter when he was sixteen. Finally understanding that if he didn’t do it, nobody would and lives would still be ruined. He hated himself sometimes for dragging Sam along with him, but it was not like he would trust his little brother in the hands of some strangers. Even though Sam was already eleven, almost twelve years old now and he was able to do so much by himself, Dean still protected him. It had been drilled into him. He couldn’t fight off those instincts.  
  
“Dean, watch out!” Sam was yelling while the beast turned around when he had noticed that he was being followed. Dean cursed while he flew around the neck of the beast. He really didn’t like to do this but he didn’t have any other option; he had to strangle the beast, barehanded. His gun was gone and the knife hadn’t been very useful before. The sound was horrible when Dean had gotten a good grip around the neck of the beast and turned it around, like there was nothing to it. Like it was as easy as unscrewing a lit from a bottle of soda. The breaking of the spine was noisy and it made Sam cover up his ears.  
  
“It’s alright Sammy, you can come out of it now.” Dean was covered in blood, monster blood. It wasn’t something that Dean wasn’t used to. He was almost always covered in some kind of dirt lately anyway, since they hunted more often now, now that Sam knew the whole truth.  
  
“What did you do that for, Dean?” The little boy was shaking while he looked at his older brother. Why was it always a straight kill for Dean, no questions asked? It scared the younger brother a bit, that Dean seemed to _like_ to go hunting...  
  
“That thing was coming after **you** , Sammy! You could’ve been killed if I didn’t kill it first!” The hunter wasn’t proud of the fact that he could kill things barehanded. It's not like he wanted to, but he had to do it. He couldn’t stand the thought of Sam being hurt. Even after all these years he couldn’t bear it, even if Sam thought that he was just an annoying overprotective older brother.  
  
“Doesn’t mean that I like it. You could’ve talked to it before you killed it, you know.” Sam was muttering while he followed Dean, back to the hotel, where their father would meet them again.  
  
“How did the hunt go?” John asked while he looked at his sons as they walked into the hotel room.  
  
“We killed it!” Dean answered while Sam was saying something else at the same time.  
  
“Dean killed it, barehanded!” John eyed him suspiciously.  
  
“Really? I didn’t know that you had it in you.” John always made Dean feel like that, on the edge, like he was never good enough, no matter what he did. But most of all, he made him feel guilty. Guilty about everything. “That would’ve come in handy earlier on, but you were just a coward then, weren’t you, Dean?”  
  
It had been seven years ago that Dean had run away from home with Sam and yet the older man never let him forget it. When John had found them, he wasn’t happy indeed, but Adam wasn’t with him anymore. They never really spoke of him after the incident and to be completely honest; Dean didn’t want to either. He still had the scars on his body that reminded him more than enough of the boy than he would’ve liked. John had punished him severely just like he knew he would’ve, but he had never thought that this supposed to be father figure would’ve punished him by sending him away for three months. Three months without seeing Sam. That was torture because the boy didn’t know if his little brother was safe or not. In the end, he had nothing to worry about, because Sam was his father's favourite. Dean was actually glad about that, that Sam had never been hit when he was away. He knew for sure that Sam didn’t get beaten if he was around.  
  
Dean hadn’t seen Castiel after he had erased Jo’s mind, letting her forget that they ever even met before and he hadn’t really dared to talk or pray to him either. His father was more merciless than Dean was. If he ever even knew about Castiel or angels in general he would’ve killed them, without hesitation, without a second thought. Dean cared for Castiel, he had remembered all that the angel had done for him and for Sam even though the younger boy had forgotten all about him. Dean didn’t, he couldn’t forget it. He just couldn’t talk about it with his family, for Castiel's own sake, but he just couldn’t stop his mind from wandering from time to time. He was wondering if Castiel was okay and if he even remembered what he had done for Dean... Probably not. He must’ve been busy with saving other people. How many people would Castiel see on just one day alone? It was highly unlikely that he still remembered Dean.  
  
  
  
Dean was sitting on his bed when he saw his little brother on the other bed. He thought that he had been sleeping, when he had sneaked back into the room, taking a bottle of Jack Daniels with him. “Dean, are you thinking about that new girlfriend of yours?” Sam asked while he looked at him with a look that said him that he shouldn’t be drinking, that he shouldn’t pick up the bad habit of their father, but Dean couldn’t stop himself. The pull was stronger than his will to refuse the alcohol. Lately it has been the only thing that helped him go to sleep. The thing was; John was starting to get more abusive again and Dean just needed a ‘pick me up’ after his skin had turned into another canvas of black, yellow, green and purple bruises. Dean didn’t even have a girlfriend, not anymore. He couldn’t just have sex with girls without them asking questions about his bruises and they couldn’t do anything with all their clothes still on, so not having a girlfriend was easier for Dean, left his mind at ease. The only reason why Sam thought that he had a girlfriend was because Dean had lied to him. He didn’t like to lie, especially not to Sam, but he didn’t have any choice. Sam wasn’t aware of the fact that Dean was beaten almost every day by their father. Yes, he knew about the names he gave Dean, but not about the actual physical abuse he got. So when Sam had seen the fading bruises on his neck, because John had tried to choke him before, he had lied to Sam and told his little brother that they were love bites, left behind by his girlfriend.  
  
“Yeah, she’s really pretty. Why Sammy?” Of course Sam believed it, because Dean had lost his virginity at fifteen years old. He had gotten his first driver's lessons when he was twelve. He had to because John was often too drunk to drive them anywhere, except for a ditch maybe. It was no wonder that Dean got his driver's licence on the first try when he was sixteen. Dean was allowed (sometimes even forced) to drive the Impala, girls fought over him like that, because Dean was the cool kid, the kid that went places (“He’s the new guy that travels the world! He’s so adventurous!”), got a car and to be really honest; Dean wasn’t ugly either, so yes, Sam believed his brother and didn’t even ask how this new girl was called, because they would be most likely moving into another city pretty soon anyway and then Dean would get another girlfriend. There really was no point in trying to remember the girls' names, they would be replaced by other girls in a few weeks anyway.  
  
“I really want to stay here, Dean. This is the first school where I’m not a freak! I even have friends here! They think that I’m cool too! Please Dean, could you please just ask dad if he can stay here? Just a little while longer? It’s just a few months till graduation and I would like to finish my year here, before I have to start high school.” Dean really understood what Sammy wanted, but he already knew that he wouldn’t get it, not even if Dean asked nicely to their father. God forbid if they stopped hunting for just two months.  
  
“I will try Sammy, but I can’t promise anything.” The oldest Winchester really wanted to make his little brother happy, but he just knew that it would only end up in more bruises on his back. He sighed while he poured himself a glass.  
  
“That’s what you always say.” Dean could hear Sam whisper it under his breath before he closed his eyes and almost instantly fell back to sleep. The oldest brother really felt guilty about that. It wasn’t like he didn’t try to help his brother as much as he could, it was just that John wasn’t an easy man to be dealt with. The hunter sighed again before he took a swing of the bottle instead. He really wished that Castiel was here. The angel would know what to do...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next time!


	18. Chapter 18.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut (gay smut woohoo) ahead!

                                                                      

 

 

Dean sighed while he looked at the glass in front of him. It had been hours since he sat down in the bar and he hadn’t seen any Cupid yet. He had been sent here by his father, demanding him to bring home a Cupid. Capture a creature like that or don’t come home. For some strange reason John Winchester thought that catching a Cupid would help him catch the yellow-eyed demon that killed Mary. Dean had been questioning the sanity of his father. How in the world would a Cupid know about that demon? A Cupid was made for love, not for evil things like demons!  
  
“There you are!” The hunter was startled when someone was sitting across him. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” The human looked up, only to see Castiel. He smiled instantly when he saw the angel sitting before him, in his ‘normal’ vessel, the one Dean had seen him in the first time they had met, eye to eye. They were still children back then, but the black haired boy had grown since then. He looked like he was still a bit smaller then Dean was now. His blue eyes, though, that’s what made Dean speechless. He could stare at them for hours and just get lost, but a good kind of lost. The kind of lost he wanted to be more often. Before the hunter could react to the angel, someone was walking towards their table.  
  
“Hi, this one is on the house.” A girl winked at the two of them before she put two beers down on the table and when she did so, Dean noticed that she had a tattoo on her wrist. The hunter paid no mind to it while he grabbed the beverage. While he took a sip, he noticed that his beer didn’t taste like it normally would. No, this time it tasted sweeter, more like wine than anything else. Dean didn’t mind it though, it tasted good. He wanted to drink more of it, but it seemed so impolite towards the angel sitting in front of him.  
  
“Hiya, Cass. How have you been?” the hunter asked softly before he took another sip of his beer, enjoying the taste of it.  
  
“I’ve been fine, Dean. I’m not sure why it took me so long to find you, though.” The angel sounded concerned while he held his head to the side. He looked at Dean with a look of wonder on his face, like he was trying to read his mind.  
  
“Is there something going on?” Dean asked, suddenly feeling a bit tipsy. He hadn’t even drunk that much, this was the first beer he had had all day and he hadn’t touched the whiskey yet today. He blinked his eyes while he started to feel weird. Shit, what was going on?  
  
“I heard that you were going after a Cupid. I was just coming to warn you not to do it, Dean. They are very...” Dean’s eyes opened wide at Castiel’s words.  
  
“Cass... I...” Damn, did the angel have to be this beautiful? Castiel was studying the human intensely, only to notice that he was presumably too late. Dean already looked infected by Cupid’s love-drug. Because that’s what they did: they drugged the people that were meant to be together with their special powers and by the looks of it, Dean had met a Cupid and his soul mate, but Dean was all alone when Castiel arrived here, so who would be...  
  
“Cass...” Dean’s voice sounded so needy and desperate that Castiel suddenly realized that it was _him_. He had triggered the Cupid to get Dean all drugged up, not only on their love-drug but on some other drug too and it made the angel feel worried.  
  
“Cass, I need you. Please, Cass...” The hunter didn’t know what he was begging for exactly, but he wanted Castiel near him. The angel was just too far away for his liking. His body was warming up and he felt sick, feverish.  
  
“I got you, Dean. Come on, let’s go.” Dean couldn't care less about where they were going or what they were going to do, but Dean was grateful that Castiel was helping out, keeping him upright. As soon as the angel wrapped his arm around his waist, though, things went south. Dean wanted to kiss the angel, explore his body, but it was hard to restrain himself. For God's sake! Castiel was his friend, not some stranger he could just hook up with.  
  
“Cass, I... I like you,” the hunter mumbled while they walked out of the bar, into the parking lot. The angel was flattered by the words of the human, but he knew deep down that he shouldn’t believe them, that it was just a side effect from the poison they had given to innocent human.  
  
“Don’t, Dean! Just don’t.” The human looked up at that, his eyes glassy with lust. He could manage to look saddened by Castiel’s words, like he really had that effect on the human. “It’s just the poison talking, not you,” the angel explained softly to the human. He might not be himself, but that didn’t mean that the words didn’t hurt him. Castiel didn’t want to hurt the human. To be completely honest; the angel always had felt something for Dean, but he knew that it wasn’t allowed, that it wasn’t okay to act on his feelings. That’s why he hadn’t been back to the human until now. Until God had ordered him to do so, to protect him from the Cupids. They sounded so nice and friendly, but they really weren’t all that friendly at all. Not when they felt threatened, like they had when Dean came looking for one in that bar.  
  
“I’m not good for anything, am I?” Dean didn’t know where it was coming from, but suddenly he was feeling like talking about his shitty life and how bad he felt about it all. “Not to my dad, not to you, not to Sammy.” The angel was alarmed by that. Dean didn’t talk about his feelings, not ever. Not in all the time that he had known him. Was this poison really this fast?! Castiel looked down at Dean’s fingers and noticed that the fingertips were slightly turning black, a clear sign that the poison in his body was spreading, because Castiel was rejecting Dean. Rejecting a person while they were drugged up with a Cupid’s love-drug or poison was dangerous; humans could die from it, unless they had sex with the person they felt for. Castiel swallowed while he thought about that. Yes, he had feelings for Dean and he could feel his heart leap when Dean said those words, but what would happen after the poison was out of his system? What if he turned to hate Castiel in the end? The angel didn’t want that to happen, but he also knew that if they didn’t do something, and quickly, the human wouldn’t even survive this.  
  
“You’re everything, Dean. You are a righteous man,” the angel answered before he pressed his lips against Dean's. The human kissed him back passionately, pressing the angel against his beloved Impala. Both men were lost in their movements, fighting for dominance while Dean tried to open the door of the back-seat of the Impala, so they could get slightly more comfortable. It was starting to rain when they broke apart for a moment, to catch their breath.  
  
“Are you really sure about this, Dean?” Castiel asked, softly, while he grabbed the human’s hand.  
  
“Yeah, I really like you, Castiel,” he answered honestly, while he smiled softly at the other man, tracking circles on Castiel’s hand palm with his thumb. Whenever he looked at the blue-eyed angel he felt instantly at ease, like nothing could harm him. It was a sweet illusion.  
  
“Let’s keep going then.” The angel smiled while he guided the human into the car with him. As soon as the door closed, the two men were back onto each other, kissing and exploring each other’s bodies.

 

 

  
  
Pretty soon, both of them were naked, panting and groaning between kisses and little love-bites. Dean was just happy that the strangle marks had faded before he could do this with Castiel. Somehow, Castiel had ended up being on top of Dean and the human could swear that he was going to end up as the bottom of the two of them, but suddenly the angel was grabbing his dick and before he could even register what was going on, the angel was guiding him inside him. The hunter groaned softly when he felt the warmth around his member. Fuck! Was this really alright? They hadn’t even... Dean’s breath stopped for a moment when Castiel started to move.  
  
“Fuck, Cass!” Dean groaned while he dug his fingernails into the angel's shoulder blades, earning a moan from the angel. Before Castiel even knew what Dean had done, his wings came out. The angel started to blush when he noticed it. Shit, this wasn’t supposed to happen! Not that easily. Humans weren’t suppose to see them. Only soul mates could. Dean was drugged up, poisoned by Cupid. This really couldn’t count! Right? They did this to save Dean’s life. They did, right?  
  
“Are you alright?” Castiel asked softly while he noticed how Dean stared at his wings. The angel kept moving, trying to distract the human from his wings, but it didn’t seem to work.  
  
“They are so beautiful, Cass.” Dean sounded in awe, while he carefully reached out to touch the ash-black feathers of his angel. The angel that was sitting in his lap, fucking him so well. Was he hallucinating? Was Castiel this good? “Can I?” was the question that was burning on Dean’s tongue and it felt so good to just ask it.  
  
“Y...Yeah,” the angel moaned softly while Dean pushed in at the right angle, making him moan in pleasure. He hadn’t felt this good in ages. The human carefully placed his hands on top of the wings. They felt so soft that Dean hardly dared to touch him any more, fearing that he would ruin them, like he did with everything else. The angel was watching him, he just couldn’t figure out what Dean was thinking at the moment.  
  
“They are so soft, Cass...” Dean really looked like he was in some kind of trance, while the human softly let his fingers go over one of Castiel’s massive wings. It was so crammed in the car, but Castiel didn’t mind. The hunter seemed to enjoy them and he was so gentle with them, like it fascinated him. It really was the first time ever that Castiel wasn’t afraid to show a human his majestic wings. And while the angel enjoyed the attention Dean was giving to them, he couldn’t help but feel a bit unsure about it all. Was Dean only interested because he was drugged, poisoned? He would find out soon enough, if he just asked him. If there truly was nothing there, Dean wouldn’t be able to come up with an answer and if he did, it would only be ‘because you are so beautiful...’ or some other bullshit excuse.  
  
“What is it that you like about me, Dean?” The angel wasn’t really sure that he even wanted to know the answer. Not while they were still going at it like this. The sex was good, but he wondered if he just ruined that humane pleasure for himself.  
  
“Your eyes.” The hunter instantly ignored Castiel’s wings and laid his hands on both of the angel's cheeks, like Castiel was the only one that mattered on this big earth. Like he was so fucking special to the hunter. “No matter what vessel you’re in, I just instantly know it’s you. I always thought that, when people said that ‘your eyes are the windows to the soul’, they didn’t know what they were talking about, but I get it now, because it’s true, isn’t it? I just know that your soul is blue. Not the kind of blue I know, but a more beautiful one, one that’s not just a normal kind of blue, but something lighter, more special. I just get lost in your eyes, Cass. It’s like I can stare into them for hours and not get bored. The longer I stare at them, the more I want to stay with you. And when you’re gone, I just have this instant ache inside. I just can’t stand it when you’re not around.” The angel stared at the human before him, his eyes tearing up. No one had ever been that honest with him, never really told him something like this. It was an overwhelming feeling. Castiel had never felt so loved before... “I love you, Castiel. I love you with my whole heart.” And that sentence had the angel coming, and hard too.  
  
“I love you too, Dean Winchester,” the angel whispered softly in the boy's ear, while the hunter came inside the angel, breathing heavily. He smiled softly while he wrapped his wings around the both of them, hiding them from sight, while the angel allowed himself to close his eyes, just for a little bit, and rest up, the way humans did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed. 
> 
> See you next time! (:


	19. Chapter 19.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Dean gets emotional in here.

                                                                      

 

It was morning by the time Dean opened his eyes again. He sighed softly while he wrapped his arms around the warm body that was pressing into his side. Surprised, he opened his eyes. This body part was feeling very soft. The hunter’s eyes went wide when he spotted the enormous black wings that surrounded him. So last night hadn’t been a dream then. He really had confessed to Castiel how he felt about him. What if the angel hated him for it? What if he had just said that he loved him to go with the flow? What if Castiel didn’t really care about him? What if... Dean was shaking his head. No, he shouldn’t overthink this. Castiel would be honest to him, wouldn’t he?  
  
Castiel noticed that Dean was waking up, clearly worrying about something. The angel sat up, careful not to hurt the human in the process. Somehow, they had shifted positions during the night; somehow, Dean was lying on top of Castiel now.  
  
“Are you okay?” Castiel asked softly, while he let his hands wander over the human's back. Dean looked up at him and smiled softly when he noticed that Castiel was looking at him. He always had liked Castiel, admired him. Had last night really been real? Didn’t his mind make something up?  
  
“Ye...” Dean suddenly stopped talking when Castiel touched his shoulder blade. Goosebumps turned up and the hunter was shivering. It alarmed the angel of the Lord that something was wrong. Had he not been careful enough? Was Dean hurt? Was it because of something they did? The angel got up, despite Dean’s lame attempts to stop him. His wings retreated back, giving both men more space in the cramped Impala. Castiel’s eyes burned a bright blue when he looked at Dean, who was trying, desperately so, to hide his back from view.  
  
“You’re all blue. No wonder my touch hurts you.” The angel felt a bit offended that Dean didn’t tell him that he had been hurt. The bruises didn’t all look brand new. Some older ones were there too. They had barely faded or new ones already started blooming. It made Castiel angry. Not at Dean, but at the person who put them there. He knew Dean longer than he would ever admit to the frightened little human and he just knew that this wasn’t because he was ‘clumsy’ or some other bullshit excuse like that. “Who hurt you like that?” The angel was tilling his head to the side while he looked at Dean carefully. Dean looked like a wounded animal, trapped inside some kind of cage. He had his knees up to his chin and his arms wrapped around himself, while his naked body was pressed against the door of the car. “It’s alright, Dean. I won’t let them hurt you again.” The angel carefully went to sit down next to him and took his hand in his.  
  
“You wouldn’t understand. You’re powerful, Cass. I’m just a weak, good for nothing human,” Dean whimpered softly while the words came out of his mouth, like he could already feel his father’s wrath for this. Dean already knew that he would get punished either way. If he told Castiel everything or nothing, he would get beaten anyway, so really, what did he have to lose? It’s not like Castiel wouldn’t find out eventually.  
  
“You’re not weak, Dean. You’ve been through so much already.” The angel carefully touched the human again, this time it was like Castiel had put a spell on Dean though, because suddenly he was fully dressed again and, to be really honest, he was glad for it. He really didn’t want to have this kind of talk while he was naked. If he wanted to have a talk like this at all. “And you are certainly not “good for nothing”. You’re everything, Dean.” Castiel, who was also fully dressed again, wrapped his arms around his shaking boyfriend, giving him the hug the eighteen year old so desperately needed.  
  
“It’s my dad,” Dean clung onto the angel while the tears started to fall. He honestly was so tired of it all. Of the lying, the pain and all the drinking to try and forget everything. Some nights it just didn’t work anymore. His body was already used to the alcohol and started to need more to just get a bit of rest. Four hours of sleep turned into two, some nights even one. And he just never seemed to do anything right. No matter what he did or how hard he tried, it was just never enough. “He beats me when Sammy has gone to bed. I don’t think he’s ever seen it happen and I’ve become a really good liar when it comes to explaining things. I’m just glad that he never turned to Sammy. I’ve always made sure that he never touched Sam.” Castiel felt how his blood started to boil by the confession. He wanted to kill John Winchester for even thinking about laying a hand on Dean like that, but the fact that the man actually did it made him even more angry. He needed to be removed from Dean’s life, that was for sure! But what if Dean didn’t want that? What if John had brainwashed him like that?  
  
“Is... is this everything that he does to you, Dean? Or is there... more? Has he...” Castiel just couldn’t finish the question. If John had done anything like that to Dean, he would smite him right now! But he had to know, he had to know how damaged Dean really was. Yes, he could just read his mind, but something inside him told the angel that Dean needed to talk to him about it, to progress it.  
  
“No, he didn’t rape me. Don’t worry about that, Cass.” The angel felt relieved instantly. He didn’t know that he had been holding his breath until he released it and threaded his fingers through Dean's hair. And yet here they were again; Dean was offering comfort to Castiel, while Dean was the one who needed it. “God, I sound so needy.”  
  
“Dean, it’s alright to cry, to appear ‘needy’. You don’t need to act so tough around me,” the angel said softly before he planted a soft kiss on Dean’s forehead. “I love you, no matter what and I always will.” Castiel wiped away the tears that were falling down Dean’s face. The human normally would snort and tell him that he wasn’t some kind of princess that needed saving, but today Dean felt needy; felt the need to be saved, to be treated like a princess. Without saying another word, the crying hunter wrapped his arms around the angel's neck and hugged him, while he pressed his face into the crook of Castiel’s neck, softly whispering that he loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a while to update this fic. I've been working and editing another one and that took up more time than I expected. 
> 
> I hope to update the next chapter sooner than this. The next chapter will be the last. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and supporting me so far (: 
> 
> Till next time!


	20. Chapter 20.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back to the last chapter of this story. 
> 
> Enjoy it (:

                                                                     

 

Dean was breathing unevenly, panicking, while the memories flashed before his eyes. The hunter was close to having a panic attack. Before things could get worse though, he felt how someone wrapped his arms around him tightly and a soft and calming voice was whispering in his ear.  
  
“It’s alright, Dean. It was just a dream.” The lovely voice of Castiel brought the hunter back to his senses, instantly telling him that everything was indeed alright, that he was just having a horribly realistic nightmare. He started to have them ever since Sam went away to college to become a lawyer. Dean had been so proud of him, he really was, but that was when the night terrors started; keeping the hunter awake at all hours of the night and if he did fall asleep, it was as if he was reliving his childhood all over again; all of the beatings, the swearing, the hits. It all hit him at the same time. Sometimes, he even dreamt that Sam would get beaten; something that never had happened because Dean made damn sure of that. Maybe it had been some kind of separation anxiety or maybe it was because Dean felt guilty about the fact that they abandoned their father on the day that Dean lost his guy-virginity (that’s how Dean called his first time with a guy anyway), to Castiel. To the hunter, it had been one of best days of his life.  
  
“Cass,” Dean said softly while he snuggled a bit closer to his boyfriend, who was kissing his shoulder blade softly.  
  
“Hmm?” The angel was humming softly against Dean’s skin.  
  
“Do you ever regret it?” The hunter sounded insecure, like he could run away at any moment if Castiel would say that he did.  
  
“No. I don’t regret being with you, not even for a second.” The angel smiled while he looked at his boyfriend's face. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I can’t imagine a life without you anymore. I don’t think it would be possible.” Dean chuckled at that.  
  
“Really? But what will happen to you when I die?” The hunter didn’t know why he was suddenly asking that, he hadn’t had such dark thoughts in ages. The last time the thought about taking his own life was the day that Sam had yelled at him; told him that he hated him and that he rather had mom with him than him. Sam must’ve been around nine years old at the time and Dean was feeling very bad already at that time, things the hunter didn’t even want to think about any more.  
  
“I would die too. I can’t stand the thought of losing you, Dean. Not to Death nor someone or something else.” The angel was looking sadly at him, while he was going through Dean’s hair. “Why are you asking me these horrible questions? Did something happen?” Castiel’s blue eyes were staring at Dean’s green ones, demanding an honest answer.  
  
“I called Sam today,” the human answered while he looked down to his lap, suddenly feeling stupid for even bringing it up.  
  
“What did he say? Did he upset you?” The angel knew that from time to time, Dean was sensitive. It was like he only allowed himself to be sensitive a few times a year, like he was still testing the waters; like Castiel would ever get tired of him once he knew the real Dean Winchester. Not that there was much that Castiel didn’t already know; he knew that John had broken something inside Dean and even though Dean trusted Castiel, he didn’t trust others that easily. It had taken him ages to accept and open up a little to Jessica, Sam’s girlfriend. The younger Winchester didn’t understand why, because ‘she is such a nice girl, Dean! You will like her, I promise!’. Sam just didn’t understand why Dean flinched from time to time when he raised his voice at his older brother or why Castiel was always standing so close to him and quite frankly, Castiel had just wanted to tell him. About Dean’s past, about the abuse he endured to make sure that Sam stayed out of the crossfire, but Dean had asked him not to. Sometimes, Castiel really hated Sam for the fact that he could spot little things like that in other people; use things like that in cases, trials and even in front of the court, but somehow he was too blind to see the same signs in his own brother.  
  
“That he can’t come home this summer, because he’s staying at Jessica’s place.” Dean really felt silly that he was so upset because of this, but it really hurt him when his younger brother, the one he had given everything for, didn’t want to see him even once in the summer. It would only be one more year until Sam would graduate from college, until he would start his own life with Jessica. Get married with her, get kids of his own and somehow Dean just couldn’t find himself in that picture. He could feel how Sam was starting to push him away and it did hurt; it hurt a lot. And yet, Dean didn’t say anything about it. He couldn’t. It was only natural, after all. Sam was just his brother. Brothers aren’t always close. Maybe Sam hated him for the fact that he was in a relationship with Castiel, but he had been ever since he was eighteen. Or maybe Sam just blamed him for the fact that Dean had turned his back to their father. Maybe Sam wanted his father more than he ever wanted Dean in his life.  
  
“I’m sure that he didn’t mean it like that! He will come around, he has to. He’s your little brother, Dean. I’m sure that he was just acting like a big and tough boy but that he secretly misses you just as much as you miss him.” The human looked up at that, the tears were already streaming down his beautiful face.  
  
“Do you really think so?” Dean wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist and hid his face in the crook of his neck while Castiel softy threaded through his dark locks.  
  
“I know so.” The angel smiled while he kissed his boyfriend on top of his forehead. “Just go to sleep, sweetheart. Everything will be alright.”  
  
  
  
In the end, Sam did visit in the summer, bringing a beaming Jessica with him. He had asked her to marry him and that was the reason why he had been so distant to Dean; he didn’t want to ruin the surprise so he hadn’t told anyone about it until he had actually asked the question and, of course, Dean was the first one to know about it. The four of them later went to uncle Bobby’s and aunt Karen’s to tell them the good news too. And afterwards, the six of them had had the wonderful feast and when the men (minus Castiel) were drunk, Sam had asked Dean a question. One that shocked the older, even in his drunken state.  
  
“Did you get abused too, Dean? When we were little?” Sam might have been drunk, but he sounded so serious and sober that Dean had wondered if he was the only one who had so much to drink or if Sam had just been tricking him in order to get the real answers out of his older, stubborn brother.  
  
“He didn’t care whether I lived or died. To be honest, I think he never really wanted me.” Dean looked into the glass of Whiskey that was standing in front of him. “He might have beaten me more often than not, but I can honestly say, Sammy, that I am proud of that. At least he didn’t work his anger out on you and that’s all that matters. You know that right, Sammy? You matter. You are the smart one. You are important, Sammy.” The oldest Winchester was slurring a bit with his words but he meant them; Sam had always been important. He would always be too.  
  
“Dean, you are just as important!” The youngest was hugging him tightly, causing Dean to drop his glass of whiskey, but he didn’t even bother to try and save it. He hugged his brother back instantly. “I’m so sorry, Dean. I’m sorry I didn’t noticed it before, I...” Dean was already shushing him.  
  
“I love you, Sammy! I love you and I want you to be happy, with Jessica. I hope she makes you happy, Sammy.” Suddenly the youngest Winchester seemed to realise what Dean had done for him, what he had always done.  
  
“I love you too, Dean. You’re the most important person in my life and I love you, never forget that, okay? You matter, you are important, more important than anyone else in the world. You’re my brother, you’re my everything and I promise you that there will always be room for you in my life.” While both brothers were crying and hugging each other, Castiel was smiling. He was glad that they finally seemed to understand each other, truly got what they would do for one another and he honestly couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with his human here on earth. He hadn’t officially asked the hunter yet, but he was hoping that Dean would say yes and that they would pretty soon start their own little family, now that Sam was doing so too. But for now, he was just happy to see Dean like this; happy, smiling and surrounded by the people he loved and cared for.  
  
  
**The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for all your support and following this story all the way to the end. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it and maybe I will see some of you back when I post my newer Destiel. (: 
> 
> Bye for now.


End file.
